


Halogen Heart

by Ossicle



Category: One Piece
Genre: Abusive background relationship, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Feels, Character Death, Chronic Pain, Depression, Everyone Is Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Punk, Queer Strawhats, Queer punk found families taking care of each other, Soft KidLaw, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27868854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ossicle/pseuds/Ossicle
Summary: Kidd and Law know exactly how fate works for those on the bottom spoke, and both agree: soulmates are bullshit. They make a pact to cut the soul cord before it can lead them to their other halves, hoping to escape the cosmic trap they know is coming.~~Sad goth boyfriends modern AU, withsad goth boyfriends playlistand everything~~
Relationships: Eustass Kid/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Comments: 49
Kudos: 93
Collections: KidLaw Exchange 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sorellaerba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorellaerba/gifts).



> My gift to sorellaerba for the 2020 KidLaw exchange! I hope you enjoy ♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Fic playlist here,](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmL7yJhDzUYhi381HnW--4-zmyZxNG5DJ) and songs for this chapter are:  
> Michael Kiwanuka - Cold Little Heart  
> Siouxsie and the Banshees - Happy House  
> Placebo ft. David Bowie - Without You I'm Nothing

Kidd heard a stream of mumbled curses coming up the front stoop and already knew who it was.

"Incoming," he called to the housemates as the dogs started barking and the door swung open.

"I'm gonna tear it out!" Law announced angrily. He stomped inside, boots trailing the detritus of the city. He ignored the mutts crowding his legs and threw down his bag.

There was a cheerful chorus from the housemates, all lying around the main floor living area with their ukuleles and their grain alcohol. 

"Hey girl!" "Welcome back." "Again?"

"I'm fucking serious, defective piece of shit been burning like a fucker all day, driving me insane, almost got hit by a falafel cart, the whole deal is weird cosmic bullshit to begin with and I ain't about to just let it…" Law's rant faded as he climbed the stairs to the upper part of the big old row house.

Kidd sighed to himself, concentrating on playing Doom one-handed. 

"STRAWHAT!" he hollered down the floor vent next to his bed.

"Ya!"

"Trafalgar's gonna stab himself, come stop him!"

Luffy scampered up the stairs and swung around the bannister. "He's not gonna stab himself, he's just gonna try to chop off his soul tether again."

"He's gonna miss and fucking stab himself in the neck and turn into the worst ghost," Kidd argued.

Luffy was already climbing the next set of stairs to go get the scissors away from Law. "I think he'd make a cute ghost."

"That's so fucked, though," Kidd heard Sanji gossip, out in the main room. "He's gonna like, fuck up his whole star chart."

Nami jumped right on the gossip business. "Right? Such bad energy."

Kidd rolled his eyes. Fucking astrology gays.

"Not to mention his metabolism," Zoro grunted.

"Ain't got much mass to lose anyway," Killer pointed out. Gymrat gays.

Bonney appeared in the doorway of Kidd's room holding her breath and a bong. She let out a noxious cloud and offered it to him.

"So how's the depressed gay gettin along?" She sat down at the other end of his bed and held the lighter while he took a hit.

"I'm not the depressed gay. Trafalgar's the depressed gay," Kidd grumbled, coughing.

"Bruh you can both share that burden."

"Well since you're asking, I ain't getting along any better with construction than I was with the courier thing," Kidd complained, worrying at his arm stump. "Fuckin still all slow and clumsy and dropping everything. Pretty much can't work at this point."

"Yeah. That blows." Bonney shook her head. "Listen uh… I got good tips this week so I can cover your share of the power bill? If that might uh...?"

Kidd felt his face and neck heat up. He picked up the game controller again and mumbled something that wasn't actually words.

"Yeah, so," Bonney nodded after an awkward pause. "We'll do that then."

She watched him bash the controller a while longer before she remembered her resolution never to sit and watch men play video games. 

"K well uh…" she got up and went to rejoin the rowdies in the living room.

Kidd grimaced. Fine by him, he was being a fucking drag anyway. He didn't need to kill everyone else's good mood. He rubbed at his chest, trying to suppress the feeling that was spreading from his tether to his throat. It was aching suddenly, almost as much as the ghost pains in his arm.

It throbbed. He threw the controller at the wall and laid back on his bed until the pain started to subside.

"Sanjiii!" Luffy called from upstairs. "Can you make some tea for us pleeeease?"

Sanji exchanged some sardonic words with Nami and went off to brew one of his calming infusions. The herbal smell wafted into Kidd's room from the far end of the house. From the near end, lowered voices were drifting in to mix with it.

"Now, how bout he brews up some fucking cyanide for that asshole that Trafalgar keeps running back to."

"Right??"

"Okay but listen, what I heard was…"

Kidd kicked his door closed.

* * *

Law was showered and full of hippie tea, and feeling a little more stable now, he guessed, maybe. He grimaced at himself in the bathroom mirror while he applied his eyeliner. Throughout the rest of the creaky house, people pulled on boots and band shirts, loaded on the hair spray and did their faces. Some blown-out speakers blared manic noise somewhere below. They were all going to a show together, first time in a while—Franky's punk band. Law had promised to come weeks ago, so. Guess he was going too.

Voices with no volume control rang up from downstairs, where Killer and Bonney were trying to coax Kidd out of his room. The belligerent redhead was usually all in for this kind of stuff—anything where he could strut around in big boots and full makeup, flirting and fighting and causing shit. But he'd been less eager lately.

"Kidd! C'mon man, you love shows! The pit won't be the same without you!"

"Just have some of this, it'll put some life in ya."

A slammed door.

"What the fuck? Fuck you then! Just stay in your room, whatever!"

Law ignored them, distracted by a sudden spike in the chest pains that had been plaguing him for over a year now. From his soul tether.

He rubbed away the steam from the bathroom mirror and watched it—a ghostly black rope rooted in his chest, parasitic, trailing out in front of him until it disappeared into the ether. The tethers were supposed to lead to the other half of your soul, twisting away across time and space toward the fated moment of connection. Everyone had one. Some went their entire lives not knowing their soulmate was right beside them. Some never found their way at all. And Law was sure that of those who did, not everyone felt their lives improved by what was at the tether's other end. 

Law tried once more to grip hold of his and pull, but it misted through his fingers with no effect.

The bathroom door busted open and Nami did a splay-leg tiptoe into the room.

"Hi hun! Don't mind me, just gotta fuckin tinkle so bad and you're taking forEVER."

"Was the kitchen sink unavailable," Law frowned, turning back to his eyeliner. 

"You're so funny! That was just one time!"

"You could always use a pee jar, like some of the animals in this house."

Nami rolled her eyes at him from the toilet. She was nowhere near ready yet, probably still at the hair stage with Sanji. 

"Honey, you live in a queer punk house with one working bathroom. You can't judge! Anyway… really glad you're coming out with us tonight. That fucking lawyer or whatever you've been seeing? That is what we call toxic and we gotta keep you away from him. Kay? I'm gonna lend you this book, it's about co-dependence and it changed my life. Literally. You should come to the anarchist book club and knitting circle Robin runs on Thursday nights, it really..."

Law ignored her, deepening the black lines on his lower lids. Soon enough, the incorrigible witch finished her tinkle, stole a hair straightener from under the sink, and trotted off.

The second time the door opened, Law was ready with a wet towel. He flung it at face height, but it flew right over the head of the tiny pink-haired girl standing there in her camo and suspenders.

Bonney scowled right back at him. "You done getting pretty yet or what?" 

"Yeah, obviously," Law spread his arms to show off his towel look.

"Well come down here and bat your eyelashes at Kidd so he'll fuckin come out with us tonight. He hasn't left his room like at all this week."

"If he didn't do it for booze, he won't care what I tell him," Law argued.

"Yeah he will, he does what you say more than anybody else. Even Killer."

"Because I usually have money for booze."

"Well whatever. He's your friend too, and he's in a funk about his arm. He needs to come out and forget about it for a while. Get fuckin wasted."

Law pushed past her, heading to his own bedroom up on the third floor. "Bonney, you can't force people to be okay."

"Well you can go try."

"Okay, I'll try," he gave in. "Right after I get clothes on."

"I think he likes you great without em, so—"

Law closed the door on her.

He pulled on the black jeans and sleeveless tee that he usually wore to shows, and threw his jacket on the bed to check for missing spikes. Just a couple. While he tended to the jacket, he took out his phone and messaged Kidd.

_I'll go to this fucking show if you do k_

The reply was immediate, and as expected. _Well looks like ur not fkin going then dont it_

Law frowned at the phone and fiddled with spare spikes while he thought.

 _Do my nails?_ he asked next, then cursed at himself. That was something Kidd used to do for people in the house when he had two arms. Law had probably blown it.

There was no reply, so yeah. Fuck.

 _Well I tried,_ Law texted Bonney.

_Did you just do it by text??? I meant go hang out with him and do talking ffs you're like the worst and dumbest at being a human uuuggghhhhh_

Law defended himself, _Well not everyone wants people busting down their door to get in their business! im being considerate_

Bonney just replied, _Dumbass alien._

Law threw his phone to the side and concentrated on his jacket.

* * *

When Law came downstairs, Kidd was still firmly in his room with the door shut, and everyone else was ready. They were a noisy pack of ratty 20-somethings, all clashing hair colors and patched denim. Even Nami had put some edge in her look tonight—she was channeling pure vamp vibes. Sanji too. Those two often showed up matching, and today it was mesh, blazers and tits out.

Zoro and Killer always wore the same basic ensemble, despite Sanji and Kidd's best efforts to get them to vamp it up. Battle vests and combat boots. At least they should put on some damn lipstick, Sanji was trying to tell Zoro. Zoro was arguing that purple laces in their boots should be gay enough for anyone, and Nami was pointing out that they only wore those for pretext to fight nazis. Bonney, with purple laces in her boots, jacket, gloves and jeans, was cackling at this.

Luffy was channeling oblivious crust twink as ever. He had some sort of cute video game shirt on, Zoro's too-big jacket (Zoro claimed he never got cold), and jeans that were more plaid patching and tooth-floss stitches than jeans. Nami had tried to do something with his hair that hadn't worked. 

Law sat on the stairs, wearing his usual black on black. He kept his hair its natural black too, unlike most of the house. Even his tattoos were blackwork — the opposite of the bright and bawdy ink the housemates all gave each other, with their crude homebrew tattoo guns. Law just preferred monochrome. He caught the Nami-look that said he was being too boring again, and flipped up a middle finger to show the yellow nail polish he'd slapped on. 

"And I suppose the yellow laces are completely apolitical," Nami found fault in his boots too. 

"Fuckin came like that," Law insisted.

"Cmere, bitch," Sanji grabbed his face firmly and applied black lipstick with four deft swipes.

There was an argument raging about whether to go by bus to the show, take Killer's car, or go on a few bikes. Everyone was already half in the bag so it'd probably take them a while to realize that they shouldn't be driving, and by then they'd be too drunk to bike either. Law accepted a bottle of shitty wine that someone passed him and drank deeply, before anyone tried suggesting he could be DD.

"Okay guys shut up! Shut UP!" Bonney won the shouting contest. "I'm fucking rich this week so I'll get us a cab. Happy?" 

There was a cheer and another round of beers cracking open, for the road. 

Law checked his phone, where another message had popped up. It just said, _Come over._

Sanji caught Law staring at it and hugging the wine bottle. He threw an arm over Law's shoulder. "Hun, you're not thinking of backing out on us right?"

"Uh…" Law hesitated.

His indecision drew the other mother hen of the house, Killer, who took Law's phone right out of his hands and frowned at the message. "I'm gonna beat this guy into the ground."

"Right? Like, 'come over'? Like just 'come over.'" Sanji emphasized.

"Gimme my phone, fuck," Law complained.

"Only if you still come out with us," Killer stated flatly. "And leave this bitch on read."

"Yeah obviously. I'm over him." Law wrested the phone away from Killer.

* * *

The venue was already packed and noisy when they got there. The massive bouncer broke into a grin when he saw them, and accepted their hugs as they passed through the door.

"Careful in there," he slapped Law on the shoulder affectionately, knowing Law didn't like hugs.

"Always, Jinbe," Law stepped inside.

Franky's band was big enough that people had come from all over, and the crowd makeup was uncertain. It was Brook who owned the venue and adjacent bar, which was a regular hangout for them, so it was a little like a bunch of randos had invaded their living room. They walked in a close little group, only breaking away when squeals and shouts announced that friends had found them. 

Soon enough, alcohol and excitement eased up the tension, and everyone ran off in different directions. A stumbling drunk opening band was halfway through their set, and a small mosh pit was going—mostly Luffy and whoever he could drag in. A helmeted Usopp and tiny Chopper were in there with him now, bouncing around off the chests of more solid moshers. Mostly, though, people were still shout-talking, mobbing the bar and ignoring the band.

Law actually kinda hated shows. Not the music or anything—the crowds of touchy strangers. He leaned on the bar and fidgeted with his phone, tucked in his pocket with its unanswered message.

He also hated people trying to talk to him.

"I love your look," a dreadlocked girl came over and posed against the bar next to him.

"Aw thanks hun, you too." Law didn't look at her.

She tried again. "I said I like it. Your look. Y'know, I watch RuPaul. Guys in makeup are so hot. Do you like wearing dresses?"

"No." Law took out his phone and pretended to be busy. There was a new message. He resisted the temptation to open it.

"Well I think you could pull it off."

Law took a long drink, sending her his best cold glare.

She frowned, then pouted. Finally, she accused, "What, you deaf or something?" 

"Gay."

"Well you don't need to be an asshole about it." She ashed her cigarette into his drink and stalked off. 

The bartender—Shakky—passed him a new one, mouthing 'sorry'. Law took it and mouthed 'thanks', before someone else took it right out of his hand.

"The hell is wrong with you, that supreme goddess just wanted to talk to you!!" Sanji fumed. 

"Well I ain't gonna fuck her," Law growled.

"You don't have to, you just have to uplift flawless femmes, it's the gay agenda, _god."_ He took Law's drink and trotted off after the girl.

Bonney swaggered past and went after the girl too. "Alien," she shot at Law with a grin.

Law scowled and turned away from the crowd. He accepted a third drink from Shakky and returned to his phone. Before opening that earlier message, he texted Kidd.

_You: Sucks that you're not here_

_Kidd: Why s there a fight??_

_You: Theres about to be. The fruit flies are out._

_Kidd: Oh dang those freaks love me, tell em hi_

Law smiled a little, but it faded as the pain in his chest surged again. It tugged at his heart and made the noise around him fade.

He turned to his other message nervously. It was longer this time, but said the same thing as the earlier one. A summons. He glanced around at the chaos and took a deep, deep drink of his fuzzy navel.

* * *

Law threw himself into the passenger seat of the luxury sedan and pulled the door shut. It was as cold inside the car as outside, the leather seats creaking with it and Law's breath fogging the window. He tried to breathe less.

"So you're done ignoring me?"

"I just wanted some time to myself," Law shrugged.

"Hm." His companion put the car into gear and pulled away smoothly. 

Law looked over at him. "Wanna go get food?"

"Not at this hour."

"Movie? Do something together?"

"No." He kept driving.

Law felt his hackles go up at this dismissal. Even more than usual. He glared out the window as they pulled up to a red light.

On sudden impulse, he pulled on the door handle, ready to bolt, but found it locked.

"I understand that you're feeling trapped."

"Fucking obviously," Law replied between his teeth. He let go of the door handle and watched as the city began to pass again. Like a dark tunnel strung with orange lights.

"It's normal. Dont be a fucking child about it."

Law looked over at him, shadowed and elegant in his driving gloves and dark glasses. "Is that what you think of me?" he challenged.

"When you're behaving like that? Yes," he was told.

They'd reached another red light, this one beneath criss-crossing underpasses. The street was deserted. As soon as the car stopped, Law was up over the center console and straddling the other.

"What about now," he put tattooed arms around a powerful neck, before he was halted with a firm hand and a firmer rebuke.

"Now, you're definitely being a child."

Law saw red. He kicked open the driver's side door and shoved his way out of the car, cursing. The light had turned green and the car behind them was banging on their horn.

"Fucking shut up!" Law stomp kicked it hard in the grille. 

"Hey! You can't do that!"

Law just gave the guy two middle fingers. He strode away into the cold night, ignoring the stern voice calling to him.

* * *

Kidd was woken sometime in the night by his bedroom door opening and closing. His bed dipped at the edge and cold hands probed in the dark to find him.

Kidd objected sleepily. "The fuck, why don't you go climb on Killer's dick. You're freezing."

"Killer's way at the back of the house. Cmon," Law struggled out of his pants and made his way under the covers. 

Smooth skin brushed against his in the dark, and Kidd felt himself harden. Law's mouth slipped over his dick right to the hilt, and pulled slowly back up to the head with incredible suction. God, he was good at that…

Kidd grasped his hair, groaning as his head dipped up and down. "Fuck… ngh, just come here. I'm gonna bust my nut before you even get yours, c'mere."

Law scrambled into place. He guided himself down onto Kidd's dick, too fast, gasping with the effort. He'd probably prepped himself before going out that night, intending to ditch the others for his shithead man. Guess that hadn't worked out. Hence the reckless edge to his urgency.

Kidd decided to help him out. He gripped onto a protruding hip bone with one hand, pulling the slighter body hard against him and grinding the last few inches in.

"Gh! Hh!" Law dug his fingers into Kidd's shoulders.

"Move, c'mon," Kidd insisted.

"Mm. Shut up."

Law's movements were sharp and impatient. He slid slickly into place, down to the hilt each time, and Kidd met him with an upward thrust that hit his ass like a cupped hand. After a while he slowed, out of breath and panting on top of Kidd. He hadn't come yet, though. Kidd grasped his dick and massaged it, thumbing the slit, and there was a needy sound from above him.

"Shit. Close. I just…"Law complained.

"Turn over." Kidd pushed himself up one handed. "Here, knees." He dragged Law into place when the other was too slow.

"AH!" Law made a sharp sound when Kidd pushed back into him. 

It was easier to move this way—Kidd could brace with his one hand on the tattooed back and fuck with the force of his weight. Law's toes curled and caught in the sheets as he tried to brace himself to meet Kidd's thrusts.

"Kidd… ah… _ah."_

"Shhh, fuck, you want the whole house to hear? The walls are like paper." Kidd shushed him when he started getting more vocal.

"Who the fuck cares. Tryna get fucking railed over here. Cmon."

Kidd took that as permission to get a little rougher, pushing down on the middle of Law's back and getting half on top of him. He knew Law liked the feeling of getting held down like that. And it didn't take long until the other went rigid and still, jerking himself to completion and swearing softly. Kidd paused and let him finish, then leaned back and changed his angle. Just took a few more thrusts to get himself there. He pulled out and came in hot streams across the other's back.

They breathed and rested in the silence after, feeling their sweat start to cool and their pulses calm.

Kidd grabbed a handkerchief and mopped up the mess on Law's back before grabbing another for himself. "Should probably fuckin use condoms I guess," Kidd reflected, a little belatedly.

Law flopped over and accepted the offered rag. "Tch. Whatever man, I don't share stuff with anybody. And Doffy won't even fuck me without like three layers of protection anyway…thinks I'm full of bugs or something. "

Kidd felt his lip curl at the assumption that he himself wasn't getting any tail otherwise. It was true, but, yeah. Not like he'd been getting out a lot. Kidd sank down onto the bed in silence, waiting for the other to leave for his own room.

Law finished mopping himself up, and groped around in the dark for a moment. He found the edge of the blanket and pulled it over both of them.

Kidd stared at him, getting all cozy on Kidd's outstretched arm like he owned the place. "Hi?"

"Just gonna sleep here, kay, I'm super drunk and my room is super far away."

Kidd snorted but didn't argue. The guy was clearly not that drunk.

"You don't gotta come in here like you wanna fuck if you just wanna cuddle," Kidd pointed out. He curled his arm and gave Law's hair a slight ruffle.

Law sighed and shrugged. "Needed it. Got my asshole all powdered up pretty and then got disappointed."

"I thought you'd be staying over with your sugar daddy."

"Yeah… looks like no."

"So, you done with him yet?"

Law paused for a minute, chewing a poorly-painted nail. "Yeah. Fuck it, done with him for real."

"Everyone'll be happy to hear it. Dunno why you kept going back to him. Some of the shit you told me about… like, jesus," Kidd muttered.

Law took a breath like he was gonna say something and then closed his mouth again. He fidgeted. "Well, I thought… like…" he trailed off, then scoffed at himself.

"What," Kidd prompted.

"Okay this is gonna sound stupid but I'll tell you anyway."

"Hold on a sec actually," Kidd got up suddenly, pulling his arm out from under Law's head. Law grumbled. Kidd kicked their clothes overtop of the big floor vent that led straight down to the basement, so the downstairs denizens couldn't hear them. He dropped a pillow on top for good measure, then got back in place next to Law. Law set his head onto the offered arm again with an irritable huff.

"Okay go."

"I thought… well I _know_ that he's the other half of my soul."

Kidd had no idea what to say to this, except, "Seriously?"

"Don't give me that shit. Yeah, seriously. Our soul tethers haven't connected yet but he says they will. And I believe him. It fucking sucks but I know he's right."

"And how's that," Kidd stared into the dark, trying to make this make sense in his head.

"I just do, okay?"

"I'm not judging, man, just curious."

Law's voice had gotten that severe edge to it, the one he used when he was trying to explain things to dumbass housemates. "Well, like, I feel it. In the tether. He feels… The way he makes me feel, it's the exact same as how the tether feels."

Kidd chewed his lip. "It hurts?"

"Yeah… um… yeah."

"And makes you wanna stab yourself with scissors?"

"Yeah. Wait, no. Or… yes but listen," Law insisted. "That's just how it is. It's not like soul connections are necessarily good things. It's not like the universe has some kind of plan where everybody somehow ends up happy. People are miserable everywhere. It's not… not… it's not all…"

"Hey…" Kidd sensed that Law was getting upset and turned toward him. Without thinking he tried putting his other arm around him… and then was seized by that jarring sense of instability, almost like falling, when it connected with nothing. He set his jaw and let his useless fucking arm hang there instead.

"Ugh, fuck, _again…"_ Law was rubbing his chest and grimacing.

"What's wrong?"

"It's like… like a fucking noose around my heart. Just squeezing it and wrenching it all the time. Fucking kills."

"Yeah," Kidd sighed. "I can relate."

Law looked over at him, surprised, but then, unsurprised. Hesitantly, he reached over and put a hand on Kidd's heart. It was warm.

"Uh… it's not that bad though," Kidd pulled away from the touch, embarrassed, and the moment was broken.

Law looked at him, skeptical, but didnt say anything. He tucked his hand away again.

"Uh. So you seriously gonna cut yours out?" Kidd turned the conversation back to Law.

"Yeah… I know I sort of half-try to do it all the time, but I think I've really made up my mind. I'm gonna figure out how to take it out. The whole thing if I have to. Because I _can't_ with this guy anymore, fuck. And even if I'm somehow wrong about him being my other half… which I'm not… this whole thing is bullshit. I don't belong to anyone but me."

"Cheers, dude," Kidd had to agree.

"Yeah? That doesn't sound crazy?"

"No. And if you find a way to do it, I wanna fucking do mine too," Kidd decided.

Law blinked at him. "You don't want your soulmate?"

"Not that. I mean, I'm sure _they're_ great…" Kidd tried to think of a way to explain his thinking, but then shrugged. "Anyway, fuck it. Fate can get these hands. Or, one of em I guess."

"Heh!" Law turned toward Kidd too, so they were face to face, and smiled.

"Go to sleep." Kidd bopped him on the head with his arm stump and Law even laughed. He closed his eyes.

Kidd closed his eyes too.

They drifted into sleep like that, hearts sheltered together and backs turned against the world. Unnoticed, the deep pains in their chests had eased into warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is your guide to the household:  
> Nami - leaseholder and femme dyke boss in charge  
> Sanji - feral femme urchin and astrology mom  
> Killer - gymrat, smooth instagram otter and low key astrology mom  
> Zoro - gymrat, oi boy, committed relationship with Sanji  
> Luffy - oblivious crust twink, aroace king, everyone's therapy puppy  
> Bonney - strap-carrying stud, big sister and bad influence  
> Law - gay depressed loner alien  
> Kidd - brass knuckles glam king except when depressed potato  
> They are all amazing feral punk children who will fight you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist [here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmL7yJhDzUYhi381HnW--4-zmyZxNG5DJ), songs for this chapter are:  
> Fugazi - Blueprint  
> The Rolling Stones - Paint It, Black

Kidd was having a difficult fucking morning.

"Just like, lean more?" Law suggested. He was sitting on the stoop in front of the house and watching Kidd topple his way around on his bike. 

"I am," Kidd growled.

"The other way."

"I'll fucking fall over."

Unhelpful 'encouragement' was sounding from inside the house: "You're doing great buddy!" "Woo!" "Ride it!"

Law turned and sent a demonic glare at the source but the housemates were all immune to that. He turned back to Kidd with a sigh. "They wanna feel involved, I guess."

"Great… Hey! Fuck you, buddy! Yeah, you!" Kidd shouted at a gawking passerby.

He was finally getting his balance, figuring out how to stabilize with a stump arm. This is about where he'd gotten in terms of progress during the summer, before he'd given up. Months ago. It was cold out now, leaves gone off the trees but no frost yet. Kidd had been inside pretty much that whole time—the entire year in fact, since losing the arm in a work accident.

"Arright." Kidd did a couple smooth loops around the street and pulled to a stop at the stairs where Law sat. "The gear shift and stuff are the next thing. Gotta put it all on one side."

"Usopp or Franky could probably help," Law suggested.

"No, I fucking know what I'm doing, thanks." Kidd took his tool bag from Law and dug around in it. He was hyper aware of Law watching him, waiting for a fumble or sign of neediness. Kidd stubbornly went about his repairs with one hand.

"I gotta go to work," Law looked at his phone. "Busy day. Two brain scans, one electro-shock, and then freezer watch." 

Law was a part time medical research guinea pig and part time morgue attendant. Sanji and Bonney worked at a pub, Nami in a pawn shop, Luffy as a bike courier. Killer and Zoro worked in construction (though with construction season over, they'd really have to start upping their Onlyfans game).

"Fun," Kidd waved him off.

"You think you'll be up for courier stuff later?"

"Yeah probably."

"I'll let Luffy know." Law tapped out a couple messages on his phone and then went to go get work-ready. 

As soon as he was gone, Kidd kicked his tool kit in frustration. It wasn't working. None of it was fucking  _ working… _ the slowness, the way he couldn't get a good grip on the tools, none of it. His ghost arm least of all—its absent nerves were sparking and cramping worse than ever, like something heavy was crushing it. It had been gone for a year, and somehow his body still hadn't figured out it was missing. He would get stray sensations from it unexpectedly, feel it twitch or brush against something that wasn't there. That fucking spooked him and made him feel crazy, but it was the constant fucking pain that wore him down. 

He closed his eyes and tried to imagine that he was flexing its stiff fingers. A burning spasm rippled through it from fingers to shoulder and he grit his teeth.

"Kay, Luffer says he'll tell the courier dispatch to pencil you in." 

Kidd opened his eyes, suddenly exhausted.

"You good?" Law frowned.

"...don't think today's the day I'll be getting back to work," Kidd grimaced at himself.

"Oh. Yeah, okay, no pressure, uh…" he watched as Kidd pushed past and disappeared into the house, leaving bike and all. "Kidd—"

Kidd ignored him, closing his bedroom door before crouching down under the force of another wave of pain.

"Fuck, not you too…" he muttered, as his chest started aching too.

* * *

Water helped. Kidd stood under the scalding shower until the ghost sensations eased. It'd be fucking great if the shower head were at more than chest height… Fucking short people building houses, what the fuck. At least this way the shower head was at stump height. He stood there until the water went cold, then wrapped a towel around his waist and toppled out of the tub.

He wiped fog from the mirror and stood staring at the stump. His left arm had been amputated to just below his shoulder, a year ago now, following an accident at work. It always kind of freaked him out to think about what a huge fucking chunk of his body was gone. So  _ much _ of him. The stump wasn't in great condition either, so that didn't help.

He turned his attention to his chest, where the visible length of his soul tether hovered like a shadowy IV tube. What a strange fucking piece of anatomy that was. He'd started thinking of it as something like his ghost arm—drifting along and communicating strange pains from nowhere. It was hard to tell with the tether, though, which of the bullshit pains in his chest were being passed along from his unknown soulmate, and which were his own little… bullshit issues…

His sour thoughts were interrupted by Killer kicking open the bathroom door. The lock flew off.

_ "What." _ Kidd grit between his teeth.

"Nothing. You're just uh. Taking a while. Was checking." Killer tried to look casual.

Kidd caught his furtive glance around the bathroom. He scoffed. "I don't got a fucking pair of scissors in here if that's what you're thinking. It ain't that bad."

He turned back to the mirror. Maybe he could pretend he'd been shaving? His facial hair situation was nil as ever, though, ugh.

"It kinda seems bad, Kidd." 

Kidd made another dismissive noise.

Killer tried pressing, "You fucking know it is. If you'd talk to us we could all—"

"No bitch, fuck no," Kidd escaped past him and down the stairs.

"You haven't been working or even coming out of your room." Killer followed.

"I will. Soon. Sorry I ain't been keeping up my end of things."

"Dude that's not what I meant."

That's all Kidd could hear, though. He reached his room and closed the door again before Killer could say anything else.

* * *

Heat and Wire came by sometime later. Killer had probably called them. Kidd woke from his half-doze when he heard their loud voices out front through his window, and the house dogs started going ballistic. 

He hadn't got his face off the pillow yet before his bedroom door opened and a massive rottweiler barreled in and jumped into bed with him.

"FUCK." Kidd pushed her slobber face off him.

"She's happy to see you! What you doing still in bed? Man, it smells like ass in here." Wire came in and opened the window shades all the way. 

Heat charged in and jumped on the bed with Kidd and dog. "I wanna cuddle too!"

Jokes and chatter filled the air around him. Kidd sat up slowly and squinted at the beer being thrust at him.

"Drink up, dude."

"What time is it?" he wondered, taking it.

"Like 4?"

"Ah jesus…" He'd been dozing away the whole damn day. Hadn't noticed.

"Marine College kids are having a party tonight," Heat exchanged a mischievous look with Wire. "Thought we'd go check it out."

"Hah…"

"Is that what you fucks have planned?" Killer joined them in Kidd's room.

"Yeah, gonna go see if all that cop training is worth anything on a bunch of soft little piggie boys, haha," Wire grinned, his stitch-like facial tattoos stretching wide.

"Scrapping ain't the distraction I had in mind when I called," Killer disapproved.

"It's full body workout stuff, man. Get the spleen engaged, get the blood flowing!"

"There'll be dozens of them there and three of you," Killer tried pointing out.

"Naw, dude. It'll be four, with you…"

Kidd thought about how different this little room felt with all these other bodies in it. Sweating and shouting and swallowing and creaking in a blur. For a moment he wished that all that noise and meat would just  _ fucking _ go away, his own included. His own most of all.

"...Kidd?"

Kidd looked up. They were all staring at him, looking concerned. Shit. He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. Then took a deep, deep swig from the beer in his hand.

"S'fuckin do it then." He wiped his mouth.

The guys burst into an even louder clamor that brought all the dogs into the room, barking and jumping. Kidd drank down his beer and picked up the next.

* * *

By the time they were ready to go, Kidd was drunk enough not to care about the small stuff that usually tripped him up day to day and kept him inside. Stuff like tying his boots up so damn slowly, while everyone watched and wondered if they should offer to help. Or the fact that he hadn't been able to patch up his coat in forever, and the sleeve was coming off. 

He'd at least managed to do his face halfway decently, with black lipstick and dark eyes. He took the extra time to shave his eyebrows off, and was almost feeling like himself again.

He donned his leather jacket with the big fur trim, pushed his hair back with a bandana, and went to go cause a scene.

* * *

The Marine party was at a sports bar a few metro stops away. Kidd and crew sauntered into an over-lit space lined with pool tables and TVs, and peopled with polo-shirted, crew-cut little shits. Kidd grinned at the eyes all turning their way. He should've made the guys shower in glitter before they came — double damage to homophobes. As it was, they were just done up enough to have maybe come from a satanic sex dungeon circa 1992. So they could at least get some lipstick all over this sad polyester scene before they got kicked out.

"Uh, you guys looking for uh…" the bartender searched for some reason this hooker clown troupe should be there.

"Balls."

"What?"

"Tray of balls for the pool tables," Kidd jabbed a thumb at an empty table in the center of the hall. "And four pitchers."

"Killer's buying," Heat clapped the stoic blond on the shoulder. "His dick reached one thousand subscribers today!"

"Oh congrats, dude."

"Hey!" Their first heckler had arrived, with a small crew of toughs behind him. Booted, bald and flat footed, with that certain fascist  _ je ne sais quoi _ about him. Perfect.

"Hey sailor!" Wire called back cheerfully.

"This is a private event, so fuck off."

"It's not a private bar, sweetheart. We wanna play some pool," Kidd dismissed him.

"I don't think you understood. Maybe I should get some more guys up here so you can hear me better. I. Booked. This. Bar."

"You actually just booked the back room?" the bartender pointed out. "This is overflow."

"Shut up." The marine cadet turned to sneer at the skinny barman. "Guys like these, you gotta get rid of fast, or you get em sucking dick in the bathroom stalls, hooking in the alley, that kinda shit."

Kidd smirked.

"Did I forget anything?" He turned to Kidd smugly.  _ "Punk?" _

"Getting coked to the gills," Kidd added, looking to the others to confirm.

"Ya, definitely." "Fuckin love dust."

"So if you got any of  _ that, _ then honey, you can get the rest." Kidd leaned in close and flicked the starched collar of the man's polo shirt.

He must've made it just flirty enough because there was almost steam coming out of the pig's ears. He grabbed Kidd's arm and tried to drag him out of the bar.

There was a loud tearing sound and the marine cadet was left standing there, gaping stupidly at an empty sleeve in his hand. Kidd, one-armed, pretended to be just as shocked.

"Bastard's got my arm!!" Kidd bashed a full pitcher of beer into the guy's head. 

Chaos reigned.

* * *

They decompressed in a park afterward, mopping up bloody noses, drinking deeply from the pitchers they'd managed to grab, laughing. 

Heat was wringing out a bloody handkerchief into a stone fountain. "I woulda kicked you guys' asses at pool, though."

Kidd didn't reply. His burst of gleeful energy had spent itself and the exhaustion was setting in again. The nerve pain was a little dulled by the booze but was still as strong as ever, far overshadowing all the little prizes he'd earned in the bar fight. Nothing worse than a busted nose, after all that. What a waste. Kidd swallowed another throatful of blood, grimaced, and washed it down with a big gulp from his pitcher.

"I can't believe you shouted my onlyfans handle to the entire bar before we got kicked out," Killer complained to Heat.

"Just promoting your business, man."

"Wonder if you got any new subscribers," Wire mused.

"Tch. As if… holy shit I did," Killer looked in disbelief at his phone.

"Whoa look at all those thirsty piggies…"

"You guys think your soulmate can feel what you feel?" Kidd wondered out loud, nose dripping blood into the pitcher.

They all looked over, amused that he'd reached the sentimental stage of drunkenness.

"Yeah dude, your hearts are like, connected, right?" Wire offered.

"Two halves of a whole." Heat laid his head dreamily on Killer's shoulder.

"I think it's pretty well documented, yeah," was Killer's take. "Emotionally for sure, sometimes even sensations, when the moment of connection gets close enough. You hear about really in-tune soulmates, one'll stub their toe and the other will like, cuss from the other room."

Kidd rubbed his face. "Do you think my soulmate felt it when I got my arm crushed?"

They all froze. They looked at each other.

The floodgates had opened and things started spilling out of Kidd, "And then I fucking told the doctors to go ahead and take it off. And they fucked it up and now it's all shit. It  _ kills, _ nonstop, all the time. There's no way to stop it. What if… what if  _ they _ can feel it too. What if I'm fucking hurting them?"

Wire shoved Killer. "Why'd you tell him that about stubbed toes!"

"Kidd, cmon, it's probably not like that," Heat shuffled over to Kidd's side and put an arm over his shoulders. "And you had to get it taken off. You woulda fuckin died if they hadn't. And then your soulmate would  _ really _ be fucked—"

"Heat, shut  _ up." _

The other two came and sat on Kidd's other side.

"We're gonna get you help for the arm," Killer assured him. "Meds and stuff."

"Can't afford doctors or meds," Kidd rejected this. "Don't work enough."

"Black market, then. The good stuff."

"Can't afford black market meds any better. And I don't fucking want that shit anyway. Makes you all strung out and stupid. Just all the time, laying there tripping. Taking all those meds after the surgery was how I… how I got so fucking soft and lazy and fucking useless… no fucking good to  _ anyone. Fuck." _

"Hey, dude, no.  _ No." _ Killer snapped his fingers in front of Kidd's eyes and Kidd shoved his hand away with a growl.

"He's getting in a bad headspace again. We need to find him a fight…" Heat was panicking. He jumped up, looking around for someone passing by. "Hey you! Fucking egghead, why don't you come over here and show us what you're made of!"

"Booze," Wire shoved another pitcher into Kidd's hands. "Drink it off, man, cmon."

"No, listen, we're gonna make a plan, we're gonna beat this," Killer had gone into full-on life coach mode.

"Hah. Sure…" Kidd laughed grimly at the bunch of them. He downed the rest of the pitcher Wire was holding out. "Sure we will."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic playlist [here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmL7yJhDzUYhi381HnW--4-zmyZxNG5DJ), and songs for this chapter are:  
> Joy Division - Heart and Soul  
> Massive Attack - Angel

Law spent the first part of his day inside a giant space magnet, providing baseline brain scans for two different neurological studies. A good gig, when you could get it. You just had to remember to take out all your piercings first.

"Okay, now say 'puppy'..." The lab manager instructed through the intercom.

"Puppy."

"And now picture a puppy in your head."

Law came up with a mental picture of Luffy, running up the stairs on all fours. The space magnet clicked and whirred.

"Good, now say cockatoo and picture a cockatoo."

Law's mind provided an image of Sanji with his hair fully done, strutting around in feathers. There was more clicking.

"And last, 'bull.' Say it and then picture it please."

This mental image was of Kidd, all big and beefy, horns on his head and smoke snorting from his nostrils. Actually, that was a pretty good image…

"Oh I think um, I think we're picking up some signals from another part of the brain, haha that's so… interesting… Oh, by the way, you got a message on your phone here, from a 'Dof.' Want me to read it?"

_ "No," _ Law emphasized. "Delete it so I don't have to see it."

"Ooh. Okay I got you. Done. And we are also done the study for today. You can come on out."

"Out of curiosity," Law wondered, looking around the glowing tube, "can you guys see soul tethers with this thing?"

"Nah. I guess that's beyond the frequencies we can detect."

"There any studies on that going on? That maybe you could sign me up for?"

The brainiac bopped the button to bring Law out, and the table slid slowly out of the tube. "I don't think so. Not in this department anyway. It's like, still a really mysterious thing? There's no data for it. You'd never get funding."

"Ah." Law hopped off the table and padded out of the scanner room, into the general lab area. He retrieved the tray with his piercings and started putting them back in.

"Any reason?" The lab manager wondered.

Law shrugged. "Wanna see about getting mine chopped off."

"Holy shit, dude." The guy's eyes got wide.

"Guess I'll look elsewhere."

"Why?"

"Because my soulmate is a fucking bad situation." Law reached casually into his test-subject pyjama bottoms to reinsert the final piercing. Then he grabbed his clothes from the chair nearby.

The lab manager spun his chair around and looked the other way until Law was done. "That's fucking intense, my guy. That's this Dof?"

"Yeah. I'm getting to the point where extreme measures seem… not so extreme. Anyway. Thanks for hooking me up with these studies, as always. Good fees you pay here."

"Yeah of course." The gangly guy spun his chair back around and beamed at Law.

"Kay see ya. Monday, right?"

"Ya. Um, Law?" he called as his friend turned to leave.

"Yeah, Shach?"

"Wait a sec."

Law came back, raising an eyebrow.

There was a serious look on Shachi's face, for once. "This guy is so bad to you that you're gonna tear off your soul tether? That bad?"

"Maybe." Law said simply.

"...Okay, you know you don't have to hurt yourself like that to get rid of somebody." His face darkened.

"What?"

"There's accidents, sometimes. Maybe your guy has one. I get a call, coroner's office, to go do a neurological report on a dead guy, and you know… certain substances look just like a stroke under a slide. Mistakes happen."

Law stared at him. "Dude, who even are you?" He tried joking, after a tense moment.

Shachi's face lightened again. "Just kidding haha. See ya Monday!"

* * *

Law chalked this weird exchange up to friendly encouragement on Shachi's part. He was a good guy. Law thought about the soul tether problem all through the next study as well—a psychological experiment involving candy and electro shocks. So 1920s, ugh. Law was rigged up with wires and electrodes, sitting opposite another lab rat who looked as bored as Law felt.

"Now I'd like for you to recall the color of your mother's eyes," the scientist prompted.

"I don't remember my mother's eyes," Law mumbled. He hated this guy already.

"You don't?"

"She died when I was four."

"Ugh. Well they were probably brown, based on your racial profile. Just think of brown eyes." The guy noted something down.

Law did so.

"Now you," he indicated the other lab rat. "Say something negative about brown eyes."

"Brown eyes is for brown people," he snickered, trying to get Law riled. Law suspected that that was the point of the study, but he'd heard way worse. 

"That's not untrue," he stated, bored.

The meters wavered back and forth. Law's counterpart apparently received a very mild shock because he winced.

"Now say something nice about brown eyes."

"Brown eyes make me wanna fuck. Ow." The guy grinned at his jab, but got another shock for it. He looked at Law grudgingly. "Brown eyes are a thing I guess."

"Thank you. Have a candy. Now, subject A, I'd like you to share something about your day." The scientist fiddled with the dials.

Law looked at his counterpart. "My soul is tethered to a complete asshole and I'm going to find a way to untether it."

The other guy blinked. The scientist objected, "Now that's a little more private and personal than I meant. Let's not be obscene."

"Fine. If I can't find a way to cut it or dig it out of me, I'll find a way to do it to him. Ow."

The other guy's dials jumped and Law was shocked accordingly. He grit his teeth and glared at the other test subject.

"It fucking burns, all the time, my tether. Like it's pulling me toward a house fire. It's like an IV tube feeding me anger and pain. Isn't yours?" 

The other shook his head. But then he cleared his throat and offered, "Well, sometimes."

"Sometimes. And what's the fucking point of that? What's the point of giving someone a direct line to your heart, a chain that's attached to your neck, and telling them not to tug it?  _ Ow. _ Fuck." Law paused to glare at the scientist with his little red shock button. 

"I think I need to—" The white-coated man tried to interrupt.

Law pressed on. "It gives someone a power over you they can't help but abuse. They take their anger and their bullshit and shove it along to you. And they tell you that love means swallowing it all. OW. JESUS, FINE, OKAY."

The scientist had been jamming the shock button harder and harder, and now Law was actually angry. He looked over to see both their meters waving wildly back and forth.

"You are causing your fellow test subject more distress than I can convey with the shocker. I'm going to have to ask you to leave the study," the scientist scolded.

"I thought this was an empathy study," Law sneered at him.

"It is. Hence the pain aspect. Please pick up your final payment from the admin and have a good day."

* * *

Law showed up to work at the city morgue with his nose all outta joint. He donned his apron and put on his gloves, and glared at the list of bodies to be pulled.

"These fuckers got all the answers," he joked darkly to Penguin, who was just getting there to do the autopsies.

"As final as answers come!" Penguin agreed. "You're in a great mood."

"Hah. Fuck..."

They lifted the first body from the gurney to the table. Law watched Penguin position his light and his tools.

"You ever see a soul leave a body, Peng?" He wondered.

"Dude. No. Only one who can see your soul is yourself, and it's stuck all the way inside you, except the tether. So." Penguin kept working. He was used to Law's weirdness. He'd hired Law on the spot after a disaster interview that ended up being mostly about the "D.E.A.T.H." tattoos across Law's knuckles, so he was probably even kind of entertained by it.

Law lay himself down on the empty gurney, fingers laced behind his head. "Well what happens when you die, and your soulmate is still alive. Are they just tethered to this dead guy now? Or does their mate-soul, like, float above them on a string like a balloon?"

Penguin laughed and threw a cotton ball at him. 

"Seriously, though," Law pondered.

"Well, I think true soulmates tend to follow their dearly departed into death. And sooner rather than later," Penguin recited the old wives tale. "The tether makes it so whatever happens to one happens to the other."

"Guess that's one way to find out who's been faking a soul connection, huh?"

"Totally haha. That's why it's such a big thing when like, big CEO types die and their trophy wives stick around for like 20 years. And then the secret lover replaces him haha…"

"Why would you stay married with someone for that long when they're not your soulmate?" Law wondered. 

Penguin shrugged. "Usual shit I guess. Money and comfort. Who said marriage had anything to do with the soul? Maybe it's better if it doesn't. Ask Donnie, here." He pointed to the corpse. "His wife cooked for him and did his laundry every day of their marriage. Confirmed soulmates. And every day he tells her truthfully that her cooking is bland and his shirts too starchy. Forty years of marriage, and she just up and clubs him to death with a lamp one day. Like, wow."

"Whoa," Law looked up. "Damn, girl."

"Right??"

"Well I guess she's free of him now, huh?"

Penguin pointed to the next gurney. "No, she's over there."

"The heart attack?"

"Yep. Within hours."

"Shit…" Law swore, staring up at the ceiling.

"You thinking about murdering your soulmate?" Penguin joked, poking at some organs on a plate. He paused and looked over. "...Law?"

"Guess not."

Penguin looked at him, then the wall, then the ceiling. He turned back to his dead guy with a dire shake of his head. "Jesus…"

"I was actually just gonna try to cut the soul tether. Murder was someone else's suggestion," Law admitted.

"Dude, are things that bad?" Penguin was looking at him again, but the exasperated look was gone. He chewed his lip.

"I think so. I think this is the point where I go make a shady deal with a swamp witch."

Penguin stared into space for a while, thinking. "I know someone."

"You know a swamp witch?"

"Kinda, heh. Honestly, you're not the first person to ever go looking for a way out of their shitty cosmic deal."

It was Law's turn to send a concerned look at Penguin. 

Penguin looked down. "I didn't end up doing it. I didn't want to become like they say—like a zombie. Someone without half of their soul, always hungry for something they'll never have again."

"That's just a thing people say," Law muttered at the ceiling.

"Yeah, well, 'they say' that one half follows the other into death and I see that every day. Anyway, sometimes you just gotta live with a shitty situation until it gets better," Penguin concluded. He poured the guts back into the body cavity and gave Donnie the corpse a pat.

"I think, some situations, you shouldn't have to," Law argued, mostly to himself.

"So progressive of you. Anyway, I agree with you, so here." Penguin ninja-spun a business card at Law and it hit him square in the head. 

"Ow. What's this."

"That's your swamp witch."

"...Robin??" Law read the name in surprise.

"Oh you know her?"

"Yeah, she's a friend."

"Lucky. Anyway, Law?" Penguin gave him another serious look. "If cutting the tether doesn't fix the problem, and murder gotta happen… you already got my card."

* * *

Law showed up to Robin's weird little bookstore halfway through the anarchist book club / knitting circle. Robin was knitting serenely, hands working strange wonders while she listened to one group member speak his piece.

"So yeah, natural philosophy, and Hegel's master-slave dialectic," a college-age dude with a mustache was saying, "which tells us, like, there's always a dominant and a submissive half in nature. It's just, nature. Heh."

Law slid into a back-row chair next to Nami, who was holding a notebook close to her chest and looking nervous.

"What's up with the locker bait?" Law whispered to her, pointing with his chin at the guy speaking.

"I don't know. I thought it was queer theory week, and I brought my Xena fanfic to share," Nami shook her head, flustered. She showed him her notebook, full of sketches of beefy women in armor.

"That's tight, they're gonna love it," Law tapped the page.

"You think??"

"Anyway," mustache-kid concluded, "I brought the first chapter of my actual thesis project to share, a Dom/sub rewrite of the New Testament where Mary is a hotrod and jesus is my massive—"

Robin stepped in smoothly.  _ "Thank you, _ very much, that's very avant-garde."

"What's that mean?" Law whispered to Nami.

"She just says that whenever a guy brings up his dick."

"Next week," Robin continued, "we will be reading literally anything but that. Thank you all for coming. Please help yourself to the vegan brownies."

* * *

"Robin, hey," Law greeted his old friend, once the small crowd had dispersed.

"Law, I'm so glad you came!" She gave him a firm hug. "Sorry you had to witness that whole fuckboy crime against Hegel. That kid could stand to read some of Nami's Xena-derived interventions into 'natural philosophy'…"

"What? Oh yeah no, I wasn't paying attention to any of that. Um, I actually wanted to talk to you about… something. Important."

Her eyes skipped across his face like she was reading it, and she took his hand.

"Nami? Could you lock up shop for me once people head home? Thanks!"

Robin led him to her basement office, under the bookstore. It was even more cluttered than the shop above, with everything from gardening handbooks to crumbling tomes just sitting stacked up. A beat-up fringed lamp lit the room. Law moved aside a stack of old Buffy TV guides and sat on a rickety chair.

"Um, I brought some stuff for you." Law pulled a choice red wine and two packs of imported cigs from his bag.

"Ah! You're a good kid. Okay," Robin sat down in an armchair that filled half the room. She started knitting afresh, from a ball of black yarn. "What is it?"

"I need to get the fuck away from this… guy. The older guy I've been with for a while now? I think I told you a little about him…"

"Yes. The lawyer."

"I mean, he fucking saved me, you know? From this shitty phase I was in. He just knows, without me saying anything, exactly what's in my head. I thought he was so on my level… even if the stuff he told me hurt to hear. It was all true."

"Hm." Robin nodded, letting him talk it out.

Law shrugged. "It got bad I guess. I'm not the easiest to be around. But he started doing stuff I can't just forgive anymore. I tried breaking up with him. Ignoring him. But he's in my head, he's got this hold on me. I… I don't have any more ideas, I just…" Law grasped for ways to convey the predicament. "I think it's gonna get worse."

"I have a couple contacts," Robin suggested immediately. "One at the morgue and one at the neurological institute. They—"

"He's my other half," Law revealed.

"...Shit." Robin paused and thought, hands still working and working, even while she was looking elsewhere.

"So I can't kill him."

"No, that'd be bad," she agreed. 

"I want to cut my soul tether," Law laid out his cards.

She stared at him, needles clicking still. Gradually, Law became aware that Robin's hands were resting in her lap and the needles were working by themselves.

"You cut the tether and you cut yourself," she told him.

"I know."

"Would you be able to cut your eye from your face if it offended you?"

Law didn't know what to make of this question. He swallowed. "If… if I had to."

"Your hand from your body?"

Law thought of Kidd, and the hand that he'd given up to save his own life. "Yes."

She nodded grimly. "Of course. One of the oldest directives, ill-used by the newer traditions: To cut… and thereby remain intact. Behind you."

Law startled and ducked as Robin's hand reached behind his head and pulled a book from a shelf. She brought it to her side, still seated.

"These things happen," she sighed, taking her eyes from him at last and watching the book flip through pages. "I'm sorry it's happening to you."

Law didn't know what to say. He shrugged helplessly.

She found a chart and examined it for a minute. "Has it been long since the moment of connection?" she questioned.

"Um, that actually hasn't happened yet. But I know it will. Maybe soon. I feel it, and he says he feels it too."

Robin looked up at him with a strange expression on her face. "You feel it."

"Our connection, yeah."

"Hm." She frowned and watched her knitting, the strange shapes the needles were producing on their own.

"What's that yarn?" Law wondered. It was so black, like slices across the dim light of the small room.

"Soul tethers. Free-floating."

"...what??"

"Mostly received in payment from my clients—lengths sacrificed from their own severed destinies."

Law wet his dry lips. "Are you going to take mine?"

"If you go through with this and sever it, yes. That'd only be appropriate as payment."

"Okay. I guess."

"But I'm having trouble seeing the exact situation with you. There's more to this than you're mentioning." She peered at the knitting.

Law frowned. "I… I don't think there is? That's pretty much it."

Robin lifted up the knitting so Law could see it. It looked like nothing at first, the light from the room too dim and the black yarn like shadows on shadows. But then it unfolded outward and he could see it: a web with two threads spiralling together, closer and closer as they neared their joining at the center. And running across them was another thread, with something dark stepping along it like a spider. Law leaned closer and it  _ looked _ at him.

He startled back from it and the mass became shapeless again. It contracted, curled up, and started fading from the edges in. Soon he was staring into empty space, Robin watching him steadily on the other side.

"Did you see what you needed to?" she questioned.

"I dunno. I don't even know what I'm looking at," Law shook his head, feeling panicky.

"Hm… shit." She got up and went rummaging in a box of stuff under a desk.

"But I still have to do what I have to do," Law insisted.

"I know. I believe you." Robin grabbed a number of articles and dropped them one by one into Law's hands. "Okay, here we have: One bottle of death — two drops in your tea will do it, no more. Bring back whatever you don't use. A shadow knife — I'll definitely need that back. And a hat."

"Death??" Law tried looking into the bottle. Dark liquid half-filled it.

"Not  _ your _ death, don't worry, someone else's. You just need enough to get you a little ways into the shadows so you can grasp the soul tethers. Don't go too far, or you'll start getting into dangerous territory. There's things in the shadows you do  _ not _ want to meet… anyway. Black knife cuts soul stuff, be damn careful with that. And be near your other half when you do the cut."

"And… this?" Law held up the soft white hat. It had a pom pom.

Robin grabbed it and stuffed it onto his head. "That's to keep you warm. It's cold in the shadows. I knitted it for you."

"And you want my soul string in payment for all this."

"If you do end up cutting it off, yes. If not, we'll work something out." She looked him over once more and sighed to herself. "Okay, you're as ready as I can get you."

* * *

Law stepped out of the bookstore, now dark, and into the nighttime street. It was empty and cold, the hour late. As soon as he was under the streetlight, he found that the knife he'd been carrying in his right hand was gone, and a length of black yarn was tied around his wrist in its place. The hat on his head, too, was now a white yarn around his neck. The bottle of death was still clutched in his left hand, though. He slipped it into his pocket and started the long walk home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay we're working up to the real stuff now! I'm excited  
> Playlist [here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmL7yJhDzUYhi381HnW--4-zmyZxNG5DJ), songs for this chapter are Tricky - The Only Way and Joy Division - Shadowplay  
> ♡

Law ran into Kidd and his buddies about halfway home from the bookstore. They were walking from the direction of downtown, and looked all beat up and spent.

"Trafalgar, bro!" Heat called in greeting as Law crossed the street to join them.

"Where you guys coming from?" Law wondered, looking over their bloody noses and split knuckles. They all smelled like shitty beer.

"Fuckin crackhead therapy," Killer grumbled.

"Nah we just went to a party and it got heated, haha," Wire explained.

Law fell into step beside Kidd as the other three walked ahead.

"You get worked over pretty bad?" Law wondered, noting Kidd's sluggish steps.

Kidd shrugged. "Not really. Jus tired."

"Long day, huh."

"Ugh, not even. I woke up at four in the afternoon, drank not even twelve beers, got in one little fight, and I'm fucking… just wiped, man." Kidd rambled unsteadily.

Law watched his own feet walking along. "Yeah. You get tired a lot these days, huh."

"Yeah, well. Constant fucking pain'll do that," Kidd let slip.

Law thought about this for a while. "I didn't know it was like that."

"Mh, whatever," Kidd grunted.

"Your stump hurts?"

"Well, that thing hurts too, but it's the arm that gets me fucked up."

"The… missing one?" Law looked over at the space where Kidd's left arm should be. The left arm of the leather jacket was gone, and the hoodie sleeve underneath was knotted off.

"Yeah, that's the bitch. Guess my brain ain't figured out yet that it's gone, so it's just, like, freaking out all the time. It's like when you sleep weird and wake up and your arm's asleep, but so bad it just feels like it's gonna explode. That, more or less, all the time."

"Shit, dude."

"Yeah."

"Uh, so—"

"Actually, uh, that's kinda all I wanna say about it," Kidd mumbled gruffly, scratching blood away from his chin and not looking at Law.

Law cast a subtle glance over at him, wondering if he'd regret his talkiness once he sobered up. "Kay. Whatever."

"You just getting off work or something?" Kidd changed the topic.

Law cleared his throat. "Nah, I uh. Went looking for a solution to… that problem I told you about."

They slowed their steps even more, to let the others get further ahead.

"Yeah? You find something?" Kidd wondered.

"Yeah. Found something…" Law took out the bottle and showed him. Black fluid washed against the inside. "Shadow stuff. Drinking it makes you go into the soul world or something, and you can cut the strings."

"Whoa. So did you do it already?"

Law put the bottle away again and shrugged, almost guiltily. "Not yet. Have to be near him. And... I'm still thinking."

"Bout what? This is what you wanted right?"

"Well maybe it's not, okay?"

Kidd looked at him out of the corner of his eye, but didn't say anything. They walked in silence, listening to the three ahead of them trying to remember the words to some sentimental ditty.

"I just… I fucking owe him so much," Law let out, finally.

"Owe him what."

"Everything."

Kidd actually scoffed at this.

Law's hackles went up. "What's funny about that?"

"Does  _ he _ tell you that?" Kidd stated bluntly.

"Well, kinda. I mean he doesn't have to say it like that, we both know it. I know what a fuckup I am. And I know it's fucking hard to even be around me—"

"No it's not," Kidd argued.

"Tch." Law rolled his eyes. "Thanks, but I don't need you to coddle me about it."

"Man, he's really in your head, huh."

Law stopped talking and just walked, trying to think. He gripped the bottle in his pocket. His chest was hurting again, but it wasn't from the tether this time. It was that something he felt in his whole body, whenever he was near Doffy. It was like the pain in his tether, but so much more pervasive.

"I'll go with you," Kidd offered suddenly.

"Where," Law responded dully.

"When you break up with him, and cut the tie, if that's what you end up doing. I'll go and wait for you, and be there when you come out, and we can go home after."

"Okay…" Law put a hand to his temple, trying to think. "Yeah. Okay."

"Kay, deal."

They'd reached the rowhouse. It loomed huge and crooked in the starless nighttime, backlit in the city's sodium-orange glow. Muffled lights shone through blanket-curtains in its windows, but these were being turned out one by one. It was quiet for once, not even the dogs awake to hear their approach.

"I'm gonna make a call," Law told the others, pausing at the stoop. "I'll see you guys in the morning."

They said their goodnights and went to find their beds wherever they could.

Law sat on the bottom step to make his call. It was almost midnight but the other picked up right away.

"Where are you?" a deep voice questioned.

Law sighed, chest tightening. "I'm… I dunno."

"I'll come get you."

"I don't need a pickup."

There was an annoyed pause. "So why. Are you calling. At this hour." 

"Doffy… do you love me?"

A longer pause this time. "That is the most childish thing you've ever asked me."

"I just need to fucking know. Do you love me? Is that why you're always doing stuff for me? I thought it was but… I dunno anymore."

"Love isn't real, Law. Only the bond is real. And you feel the strength of ours, as much as I do."

Law felt his heart start to break. He took a difficult breath. "I'm gonna come over tomorrow. After work. I wanna talk about something."

The voice on the phone sounded unaffected. "I see. I'll pick you up, then."

"No, I'll just get there by myself. I'll see you tomorrow, Doff."

Law hung up and turned off his phone before any more words could snake through and wriggle into his ear. He took out a cig and inhaled a burning cloud as hard as he could. The cherry glowed with each breath, and Law watched it burn down to the filter and disappear.

There was still a light on in Kidd's window… Law crept into the silent house. Wire was passed out on one couch in the living room, feet hanging way over the end. Both Chopper and Usopp were asleep on the other, buried in dogs. 

Law slipped into Kidd's room. He was asleep.

"Mhh?" Kidd half-woke as Law got into bed with him.

"Sh, just go back to sleep." 

Law pressed up against his back, fitting an arm around his waist. Warmth infused them both, like slowly sinking into a bath, and they fell asleep with the light still on.

* * *

Waking was painful. Kidd was a morose, hungover lump, and Law's chest hurt worse than ever. His arm was stubbornly asleep, too, on top of everything. 

Kidd seemed unwilling to even turn over and face Law. Probably fucked up over how much he'd blabbed the night before. He was just grunting when Law said anything to him. Law gave up trying to talk to him and just sat behind him on the bed, rubbing his shoulder. He listened to the noise that was building outside Kidd's bedroom, in the main area. Chopper and Usopp bouncing all over Wire. Dogs barking and playing. Wire's massive mutt thudding especially hard across the floors. Nami scolding someone.

"I think I'm trapped in here," Law joked.

"What, you lose your legs?"

"Nah, just don't wanna deal with the cutesy bullshit if those guys catch me slinking outta your room."

"Heh… yeah, true."

Law looked up to the ceiling. "I guess I'll take the vent. Who's in the room right above?"

Kidd finally turned over to consider the problem. "Zoro. Which'd be fine, but if he's got Sanji in there you know that gossip queen will be all in your business."

"Shit." Law listened again to the noise outside, though, and thought he could hear Sanji in the kitchen making breakfast. "I'm gonna risk it."

"Kay. I'll give you a boost. Just… gimme a sec to… move."

Law let him stretch and groan. Along with the bad condition of the arm stump, Law could plainly see knots of tension all across Kidd's back. His ribs were even starting to show. He'd lost a lot of muscle mass since his injury, and all the bedrest probably wasn't helping the pain situation... Law reached out and pressed the most obvious knot with his thumb, circling until it came unlocked and smoothed out.

Kidd instantly turned into a noodle. "Unnnnnnhh... What was that?"

"Sorry, just had to get that one knot. Looked like a tumor it was so big."

"Fuck… do it again."

Law dug his thumb into the next one and worked it around in a slow circle. When it resisted his touch he added a second thumb and kneaded it until it relaxed. There was another groan from Kidd, his face buried in the pillow. Law went about the rest with no objections from his patient.

"How'd you learn to do that?" Kidd wondered, once Law was done and just smoothing his hands across the broad back, slowly, back and forth.

"Had a therapist when I was a kid that showed me how to do it on myself. I used to hunch up in a closet with a book and not move all day, and my posture got fucked up." Law risked sharing a little more than he normally would. Maybe Kidd would feel less weird about how much he'd shared already.

"Mnnn…"

"You could probably see a physiotherapist or something and they'd help get you out of the laying-down phase. It's actually really counterproductive to spend so much time—"

"No. Can't."

Law sighed. "Well… I can help with your back, whenever that gets bad. Okay? I'll do that."

"Okay ya..." Kidd agreed. He stayed lying there for a while, boneless. "Y'know. There's no pain, right now. That's insane. I haven't been pain free in… in a year…"

"Ah. Probably just the endorphins from releasing all the knots in your muscles. They'll wear off pretty soon and you'll be back to normal." He nodded, satisfied with his logic.

Kidd suddenly laughed and turned his head to give Law the weirdest look.

"What?" Law crossed his arms defensively.

"You know when Bonney calls you an alien or whatever?"

"Ugh. Yeah. Why."

"I dunno, you're just so weird about how you talk to people!" Kidd shook his head.

"Great," Law grumped.

"Don't worry, I think it's kinda cute." Kidd sighed and finally got up. "Okay, let's sneak you out."

* * *

Zoro barely cracked an eyelid when his vent popped open and Law's head poked up like a dour little mole.

"It's too early for this shit," the green-haired delinquent complained.

"Is your loudmouth handful gone yet?" Law questioned in a loud whisper.

"Yes. He's a fucking morning person."

"Okay good." Law pulled himself up through the narrow hole, stepping up from Kidd's shoulder, then head. He made it up and pulled his legs through after the rest.

"You're heavier than you look," Kidd complained.

"Rude. Oh, fuck, um," Law stuck his head back down through the vent. "Do you still wanna, um… I was gonna go do it after work today and… I mean it's okay if the offer was just… just uh…"

"The offer to back you up while you break up with that guy? Yeah dude, I'm there. Tell me when and where."

"Okay cool." Law pulled his head back up through the vent, then wondered if he should say thanks or something. He stuck his head back down. "Um. Good."

"Git outta here, fuckin alien," Kidd threw a pillow at his face.

* * *

A little while later, Law had successfully snuck up to his room to get ready, then emerged downstairs for the breakfast Sanji was cooking. Crepes and honey. Law accepted a plate and sat on the floor against the living room wall, watching his friends eat and laugh, mouths open and crass jokes pingponging back and forth. They were too many to fit on the couches so they were sitting in each other's laps and at each other's feet. Usopp was tuning his ukelele and everyone was shouting requests.

Law looked at his half-eaten crepe and wondered if cutting off the other half of your soul really did make you like a zombie. Maybe he wouldn't be able to enjoy stuff like this again. All the noise and closeness. Maybe it would make everything cease to matter. Would that even be better than how it was now? Ugh… He didn't know why he was treating this like his last fucking meal. Something fatalistic was taking root in his mind, the more he thought about what he was going to do. And he was  _ going to _ do it, he'd decided firmly this time.

"Where's Kidd?" Law wondered when he finally noticed that the other wasn't there.

"Where do you think," Killer shook his head. "Now he says his chest is acting up."

"Shit…" Law bit his nails and looked over at the closed door. He'd kinda thought that the massage, and talking about stuff, might have gotten Kidd out of his rut, at least for a while. Maybe Law was failing at reading this situation again, though? Maybe he was actually imposing on Kidd instead of helping, being a needy little emo jerk while the other was so much worse off… God, he really did suck at people.

He stuffed the rest of his crepe into his mouth and excused himself, saying he had work early that day. He climbed the stairs to his room again, reflecting bitterly that at least being a zombie wouldn't be any worse than being an alien.

* * *

Work went by in a blur. Law had decided to leave straight from work to confront his soulmate, and to do it alone. He dodged Penguin's questions all day, and even (with a surge of guilt) ignored Kidd's texts asking when he wanted to meet. A call from Kidd came just as Law was about to leave, and he turned his phone off. 

His soul tether started  _ hurting. _ More than before—all of the fear and shame and loneliness that had ever bled from it, pouring out like a dam was opening. The moment of connection must be getting close. He had to go. 

Law held the little bottle of death inside his jacket pocket, and went to catch the metro uptown.

* * *

Kidd looked in disbelief at his phone, as his call to Law was declined. Of all the fucking  _ shitty _ ways to say he didn't need Kidd after all.  _ Fuck. _ That  _ bastard. _ He paced around his room like an animal in a trap. There was almost no place to walk because of all the useless shit piled around. Clothes he hadn't washed in months, beer cans, broken controllers. Attempts at mechanical arm designs hidden under it all—each of them failures that he'd never let anyone see. And he was the biggest piece of fucking junk around…

He dug his fingers hard into his shoulder, where new knots were already starting to harden the muscle. He rubbed it like Law had, eyes closed, until his surge of pain had passed and he could think clearly again.

One thing was definitely clear: Law was walking himself into trouble like a fucking idiot.

"Nami, where does this fucking lawyer of Law's live?" he demanded, bursting into the 'forbidden femme realm' of the lower level. Its denizens were touching up their roots.

"Um. Knock?" Sanji growled.

"Why?" Nami frowned.

"I'm supposed to go be backup while Law breaks up with the guy but he didn't tell me the address and he's not answering his phone," Kidd explained. "He's gonna be there by himself with a violent shitbag."

Their attitudes changed instantly.

"Oh my god, of course he needs backup!" Sanji jumped up. "You need to go find him!"

"Shit! I was meaning to break into his phone and get the bastard's info but Law is so fucking vigilant with his stuff…" Nami held her head and looked around, like the address might pop up somewhere.

"Killer's picked him up from there a couple times. I think when something bad happened. He'll have the address," Luffy offered, lying on the floor with a bag of chocolates on his chest. Kidd had never understood why Luffy was allowed into the femme dungeon when no other masc guys were, but this wasn't the moment to bring up masc rights. Sanji would just say they didn't have any, anyway.

Kidd ran up the stairs two at a time and barged into Killer's room next. 

Bonney was taking pictures with the other's phone while Killer posed with a hardhat. "Dude, you're gonna ruin the shot, there's money being made here," she complained.

Kidd ignored her. "Kill, I need the address where Trafalgar's sugar daddy lives."

"Why?"

"So I can go fucking kill the guy!"

"That's a no, because I don't want you arrested and Trafalgar mad at me," Killer explained.

"2442 Second Avenue West, Unit 1," Bonney read off of Killer's phone.

"Dude!" Killer scolded.

"What. It'll get him out of the house," she argued.

Kidd was now going through the pockets of Killer's jacket. "Where are your car keys!"

Killer sighed heavily. "Zoro has em."

Another flight of stairs up and Kidd barged in on Zoro, who had the entire butt of a sword in his mouth.

"This isn't what it looks like," he claimed, taking it out.

"How are you SO gay??" Kidd demanded. "And where are the keys to Killer's car?"

"In my jacket pocket there, probably," Zoro pointed to the back of his door. "But it's outta gas."

"Fuck!" Kidd ran back downstairs and pulled his bike off the hanging rack at the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist [here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmL7yJhDzUYhi381HnW--4-zmyZxNG5DJ), songs for this chapter are:  
> The Smashing Pumpkins - Ava Adore  
> Nine Inch Nails - Underneath It All

Law stood in front of the modern, upscale housing complex, and fucking wished he'd brought Kidd. Even if he'd just hidden the redhead in some bushes outside, or down the street in a coffeeshop. Coming alone was such a stupid idea…

He sighed and went to let himself in.

Doffy lived in the ground floor suite of the furthest building, with its own fenced-in backyard and windows of two-way reflective glass. The heavy front door closed behind Law like a dungeon door and he startled a little. Stupid.

The sun was setting by the time he came into the spacious livingroom of Doffy's apartment. The lights were off, and the dying sun cast an eerie glow across the polished fixtures. Doffy was seated at the table with a bottle of wine and two glasses, a dark figure against all the orange. 

"So we have something to discuss, do we?" he questioned flatly.

The sudden dread was so strong that Law almost bolted.

* * *

"Fuck!" Kidd almost fell off his bike at the wave of panic that pumped through him out of nowhere. A car swerved to avoid him.

"Get off the street, fucking gimp!" The driver flipped the bird and revved away.

Kidd paused on the roadside, counting in his head how many streets he had left to go and struggling to catch his breath. He was so fucking out of shape. At least the adrenaline was keeping his usual pains in check.

He waited for a break in traffic and started out again, pedaling harder than ever.

* * *

"Easy," Doffy murmured, sensing Law's skittishness. The tall man stood, a hand outstretched.

"Don't talk to me like an animal," Law objected between his teeth. He backed away as Doffy approached him.

"Don't be difficult." Doffy gestured to the table.  _ "Sit." _

"I'd rather stand," Law protested, feeling juvenile as he said it.

"Would that really improve your position?" He passed by Law and went to lock the door behind him. "Do you need so much to feel like you're fighting, even when you know you'll never be in a position to assume dominance?"

"Why does it have to be like that with you…"

"Because that's just how it is. Nature. And you are my other half."

Law's resolve hardened. He took the little bottle of death from his pocket and put it on the table.

"And what is that." Doffy crossed his arms.

Law pulled out a chair and seated himself at the table. He looked over his shoulder at Doffy and gestured to the other chair. "Sit," he invited.

Doffy looked at him silently. Slowly, he came to seat himself at the table once more. He studied Law's face but remained quiet for the moment.

Law poured wine for them both. "You're the other half of my soul," he started.

"Yes."

"I used to think that meant we would save each other—"

"I  _ have _ saved you," Doffy snarled suddenly, before controlling himself.

"Yeah." Law took his own wine. "I guess… I guess that means that I've failed to have any impact on you, for my part."

"Because of your stubbornness and refusal to improve."

"Maybe. I don't think it matters anymore though. I'm done."

Doffy gave him a condescending smile. "That is not how it works, heart of mine."

Law unscrewed the precious little bottle sitting between them. It was only as he fumbled with it that he noticed his hands were shaking. The right especially—it was cramping up worse than ever. He took a steadying breath and poured a little into each wine glass. More than he'd meant to, but no time to think about that now. He closed it and pocketed it again.

"This is something that will reveal our soul bonds to us. I want you to drink it with me, and I want your blessing to cut the ties."

"Is it really..." Doffy lifted his glass to watch the black substance diffuse through the wine. "You must have paid a steep price for this."

"This is for both of us," Law kept to the script he'd composed in his head the whole way here. "This is where our connection ends. I'm sorry. I… Sorry. That's it."

"You know, I've been looking for this exact substance for a while now."

Law felt thrown off-balance. "So you knew it too?? That we were a bad match?"

Doffy nodded thoughtfully. "I knew. I thought I'd be able to mold you better before we came to this point. So, for that, I am also sorry." He smiled at Law. "But for the record, I think you're wrong about our bond ending here. I think that what is known as the 'moment of connection,' may actually begin with this."

Doubt was growing again in Law's mind, but he suppressed it. He held up his glass in a final cheers, and they both drank.

* * *

The pain was so sudden and overwhelming this time that Kidd was blinded for a moment. He felt himself pitching over the handlebars of the bike, and then he felt himself landing. There were screams and shouts from nearby. He clutched at his chest, where it felt like a live power line had dug into the center of his entire being.

For a moment, as he fell, it had seemed that the entire world had turned black and been filled with violently swirling lights. But the vision cleared and he was in the street, blood flowing from his head and the palm of his hand all full of gravel. Aw, now that pissed him  _ off. _

"Sir! I'll call an ambulance, please just lie down. Sir! Stop moving please."

Kidd threw off the grabby cunt and stumbled to his feet. Looks like he'd just run into a fire hydrant. The bike was a little bent. He threw his leg over it anyway and pushed off.

* * *

Once the pain and disorientation had faded, Law opened his eyes. The sun had set and shadows had engulfed everything. Deeper than evening shadows do—as though the surfaces of reality were just cardboard, and the emptiness underneath was finally showing through. Only vague outlines of the room remained.

A warm golden-orange glow shone through the wall of Law's chest, pulsating. The soul tether extended out from it in a swirling line, no longer black but beautiful and gold too. He could see the longer reach of it, as it went out in front of him and led… off to the side, out the sliding door and away from the man in front of him. Law stared at where it disappeared outside.

"That is interesting. It hasn't faded at all," Doffy mused.

Law turned. His false soulmate wasn't even looking at the detour Law's tether was taking. He was examining the thing hanging from the end of his own soul cord. 

The pulsing soul-light in Doffy's chest was just as bright as Law's. The cord leading out was just as gold. But it extended only a short distance away from him before curling up and over like a vine and stopping. And at its end, a grim fruit hung bleeding—a soul without a body.

"What is that?" Law sat horrified.

Doffy paused and looked at him strangely before answering. "When did you put a hat on?"

Law felt his head and found Robin's hat sitting there. In his right hand was the black knife. He shook his head.

"I was wearing it. What IS THAT?"

"My other half," Doffy explained idly. He pulled the vine closer and examined the thing. "Or what's left of him."

"So… we're not soulmates. You lied to me," Law accused in shock.

"Well we are  _ going _ to be soulmates," Doffy corrected him. "But yes, there was another before. Long dead, now, except for this little piece I kept for my own health."

"What… what do you mean we're going to be soulmates..." Law already knew the answer by the time he'd spoken the question. He stood and backed away. 

The other watched him with an indifferent air, chin in hand. "Well, it just gets so cold all exposed like that. I've been looking for a host for it for so long."

The chair fell over as he backed away and Law stumbled, then turned and ran. Doffy only had to grab hold of Law's golden tether. It stopped him short and yanked him backwards. 

"AH!" He went sprawling to the floor.

"Calm," Doffy ordered, wrapping the long lead around his fist.

"Shit!" Law grabbed it and tried to yank it back, boots scraping for a grip on the hardwood as he was dragged nearer.

* * *

Kidd had reached the address and tried the buzzer, leaning on it like a maniac. No answer. He ran around to the far side of the building and found what must be the ground floor suite, with its fenced back yard. The gate was unlocked. The windows of the apartment were covered in reflective coating, but he got up close and shielded his eyes so he could peer in. 

There was Law, on the floor. And there was that sneering bastard standing over him. Law was trying to get away. Kidd hauled as hard as he could on the sliding doors but they were locked. He banged on the glass, shouting, "Hey! HEY!!"

When that did nothing, he ran to the far side of the yard and picked up a heavy deck chair. He braced himself and ran at the glass full speed.

* * *

Doffy was stronger than Law. He pulled the tether, hand over hand, a wide grin etched across his face. He seemed to have somehow grown larger, beastly, with burning eyes and huge hands.

Law kicked and thrashed. He'd fucking dropped the knife…

The creature had Law in his grasp now, and he jammed a knee into Law's neck to keep him in place. He grabbed hold of the tether right where it came out of Law's chest, and  _ pulled.  _ Law screamed, paralysing pain engulfing him. Then it passed, leaving him gasping on the floor. Doffy swore to himself, shaking out his hand and searching for a tighter grip on the cord before trying again.

Somehow, in that window, Law got his hands on Doffy's own tether, and reached the disembodied soul. He squeezed with everything he had. The effect on the other was immediate, stopping him cold and ripping an inhuman scream from his lungs.

Law scrambled up and grabbed the black knife. "If you fucking come near me I'll cut you apart! No closer!" he snarled, holding it up.

Doffy grinned again, though he was breathing as hard as Law. "And how did it turn out, the last time you tried threatening me with a knife?" 

He closed in, the dangling heart preceding him on its cord like a tentacle waiting to strike.

"LawWWWW—!!!" A patio chair clattered off the glass sliding door next to them, and then a screaming redhead hurled himself bodily at it. He didn't manage to break through the glass, though. He fell back with a loud thunk.

"What—?" Doffy spun.

Law grabbed the dangling soul and jammed the blade into the glowing flesh. It shuddered in his hand and black blood poured from it. Doffy's scream was inhuman and echoing. He crumpled to his knees, clutching his own chest. The golden soul was blackening and turning to brittle ash, the cord shriveling all along its length. Law pulled the knife out of the crumbling soul and held it tighter.

The creature before him snarled, "LAW you will BURN! You'll wish you'd given up your soul and become my slave! I've seen your path and it is nothing but  _ pain  _ and  _ powerlessness—" _

Law lunged and drove the knife directly into its chest, then ripped it out again. He sunk it over and over again into his shoulders, head, everywhere. Black blood was leaking from the wounds and the huge man was slumping to the ground. Law kept stabbing until everything was soaked in thick blackness.

"Law! Law wait, stop! He's down!"

Law scrambled back from the touch and then sat gaping at Kidd, who was holding up his hand in a calming gesture. He looked like he'd been in a fight himself. 

"Kidd…" Law swallowed and looked around him at the mess.

"Yeah. Sorry I'm late. Had to force the door."

"Holy shit Kidd, he tried to pull my soul out of me! And I fucking… I fucking killed him. I stabbed him, I'm covered in his fucking blood, it's everywhere, it's all over me…"

"Law, hey, there's no blood! You're not covered in blood, it's okay!"

Law looked at the carnage around him, then looked at Kidd like he was insane.

Kidd didn't notice. He was edging carefully toward the limp body, watching it for signs of life. When there were none, he checked its breathing and its pulse. "Holy shit. He  _ is _ dead. You actually killed him… but there's literally not a mark on him. What the fuck?"

Law looked at the black blade in his hand. "It's the soul knife. I mean shadow knife. I stabbed him with it… must have killed his soul."

"Whoa." Kidd looked around. "I don't see a knife."

"No, I guess you wouldn't, it only exists in the shadows, and I'm still halfway into them…" Law stared at the body. "Jesus god, I fucking  _ killed _ him."

Kidd pulled him to his feet. "Cmon, we gotta go. What if someone heard?"

"Fuck," Law stumbled up.

"Cmon! Fucking  _ run." _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist [here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmL7yJhDzUYhi381HnW--4-zmyZxNG5DJ), song for this chapter is TOOL - Reflection

Law ran with Kidd through the fenced back yard and out the gate. As they put some distance between themselves and the shadow-filled apartment, the world regained some of its color and solidity. The knife in his hand became a string tied on his wrist again. But Law could still see his soul tether stretching way out before him, leading away somewhere unknown. When he could see more of it like this, it was almost like a track that he was just following along. Like every move he made was inevitable, bringing him closer to that unknown other.

Kidd noticed him lagging and staring into space, and pulled him along by the hand as he ran. "You got money for the metro?? I'm literally flat broke."

"Um… yeah…"

"Actually, fuck that. Let's ditch the bike a few streets over and cab it. Okay?"

"Mh. Kay."

Kidd hurried them along through the spotless streets of this well-to-do part of town, until they got to the commercial strip at its outer edge. Ducking behind a gas station, he hoisted his bike into a dumpster. 

"Piece of banged up fucking trash now anyway… okay, let's hail a cab."

The cab ride was mostly a blur. But as they put distance between themselves and the scene of the crime, Law felt the shock wearing off and his faculties returning. He bit his lip as the implications of the past hour came into focus. He was in some real fucking trouble… they both were.

Kidd stopped the cab a few streets over from their place, probably out of paranoia. Law didn't think it would help if someone had seen them running, but he didn't object. They walked the last few blocks home, steps slower now.

"Um." Kidd looked over at him as they walked, something clearly on his mind. He shook his head and looked away.

"What," Law questioned.

Kidd blurted, "Are you gonna die? Because you… because you killed your soulmate?"

"No. He wasn't my soulmate after all." 

Kidd stopped walking and looked worried for a moment. He made a scoffing noise to himself before walking even faster. "Fuck."

"I know. I'm a fucking idiot," Law agreed. "I let him get in my head."

"I'm not saying that."

"It's true though."

"Uh… do you think you might have an idea of who your actual soulmate is, though?" Kidd probed. "Can you like, see it now?"

Law shook his head. His soul tether stretched out before him with no end in sight, Kidd's running along parallel to it. All Law had to go on was the feeling coming through it, of fear and turmoil. Which wasn't unusual—his tether usually felt like shit. He'd always thought that that's how his soulmate was destined to make him feel. But as the shock of the past hour and Doffy's hold on him both started to wear away, he was coming to understand it differently. It was a connection of empathy.

"No idea. But… I think I actually  _ do _ wanna find out after all," Law decided, rubbing his arm. "Which means I gotta fucking stay out of prison, which means I gotta call some guys and pull something together before someone finds the body… What? What you looking at?"

They'd reached the house, but Kidd had stopped walking again. He was standing there looking at Law like he'd seen a ghost.

"Law… what's wrong with your arm?" Kidd sounded stricken.

Law shrugged. "I dunno, carpal tunnel? Flares up sometimes on the one side. Woke up with it really bad this morning."

Kidd was still just staring at him. Law grabbed his hand impatiently and tried to steer him inside. They had shit to do.

Kidd resisted, still standing rooted in place. "And is your chest okay? Right now?"

"It's… look, we'll think about this later. We gotta  _ go." _

"Do… do you think maybe you should do the soul cut thing before you go?" Kidd wasn't making any sense now. He let Law pull him along toward the house though. "Since you drank the shadow stuff anyway, and. Probably you don't wanna take it twice. And you don't even like the idea of soulmates right? You wanna be free of all that stuff right?"

Law shook his head. "No, I wanna see who it is."

"But what if it's someone shitty," Kidd protested.

"I don't think it will be."

"What if it's someone who just hurts you, even worse than… than…"

"You know it could be you, right?" Law countered.

Kidd looked away, furrow in his brow deepening.

Law sighed. "Okay, sure. I guess maybe it could end up… like that. But I don't feel trapped now. I think I can take whatever's on the other end."

They were inside the front door now and Law was totally unprepared when Kidd wrapped an arm around him and held him in place. He'd buried his face in Law's neck, and his breath was uneven in Law's ear.

"Kidd?? You okay?"

"No…  _ fuck." _

"It's alright." Law rubbed his shoulders and neck soothingly.

"Law, I think I'm in love with you."

Law felt that admission like a wave of heat through his whole body. He hesitated for a moment, then angled his head up and pressed his lips to Kidd's. The other leaned into it without any hesitation at all, and kissed him like he really fucking meant it. They'd never kissed before and Law was surprised how fucking good it felt, with black-painted nails pressed to his jaw and hot breath on his lips. It was confusing though—it hurt too, in his chest. Law pulled away and looked searchingly at Kidd.

"I think…" Law started slowly. "I think I might… too."

Kidd let out a shuddering breath, eyes still screwed shut, and nodded. But his next words shook Law out of the soft moment.

"Law, please cut the cord."

Law pulled away, brows creasing. "You can't ask me that."

Kidd persisted. "Then cut mine."

"What if it turns out it  _ is _ us?" Law demanded. "Why would you… don't you want…?"

"It's not us."

"You're sure?"

"No…"

Law sighed. "Look, you're acting crazy. You're probably freaked out and in pain—"

"Don't fucking talk down to me." The vulnerable moment was gone, and now Kidd's shoulders were set defensively. 

"I'm not! I just… I have to get some shit sorted out, and then I'll come back, and we can talk."

"Can you fucking actually LISTEN to me for once??" Kidd burst out, looking like he wanted to fucking grab and shake Law.

_ "Stop," _ Law hissed, and Kidd scoffed but backed off. He paced around in an agitated circle while Law spoke soothingly. "I need you to chill. I need you to rest and take care of yourself and wait for me. And once I get this murder shit under control, I'll come back and we'll work all this out. There's just a lot right now. Okay?"

"…Yeah. Okay."

Law gave him another kiss. Kidd's lips lingered on his and he held Law close, but Law's mind was elsewhere. He pulled away. He had to go attend to the fucked up situation he'd gotten them into… 

He was aware of Kidd's eyes on him as he climbed the stairs, but he stubbornly didn't turn around. He brought up Penguin's number on his phone and went to see if Zoro had lost Killer's car keys yet.

* * *

Kidd watched him hurry away, a new resolve in his mind as well. He went into his room, closed the door and sat down against it, waiting for Law to leave.

A mostly-empty bottle of liquor was hiding against the wall, there, and he took a pull to settle his heart. 

_ Calm, _ he ordered himself. Law needed to feel all the calm Kidd could send, right now. That's not what Kidd had to give, though… He closed his eyes as all the other toxic shit inside him mounted and mounted.

_ Fucking calm, _ he told it,  _ please. _ For just a little longer.

* * *

"You fucking  _ what?" _ Penguin demanded.

"I know! Shh, keep it down…" Law looked around nervously at the dark street. He was standing on the stoop outside Penguin's apartment. "So we just gotta… you know."

"This shit takes time and planning. You can't just waltz into a place and soul stab a guy!"

"Can we talk about this inside?"

"Give me the address and key," Penguin ignored this and sprang into action. He disappeared inside for a moment and came back out with his coat on.

"I'll just take you there."

"You can't go back to the scene, dude." Penguin looked at him. "...What's wrong?"

Law was clutching his chest. It was churning with pain and turmoil, sharper than ever. His arm, too, was weak and buzzing.

"It's my soulmate. My actual one… he's not doing too good and…  _ agh! Fuck… _ I guess that's why my tether was always hurting before. Because he was in pain. I'm such a fucking idiot."

Law crouched down and held his breath as the feeling surged again. He was aware of Penguin's hand on his back as the other crouched down next to him.

"He get injured?"

Law shook his head. "He's got bad chronic pain and some other stuff. I had no idea."

Penguin took a breath. "You know… you can be with someone, and care for them, even if you don't have a soul connection."

"I'm not so much into the platitudes right now, Peng," Law growled.

"You can stop the pains by cutting the bond. That's all I'm saying."

"Don't talk to me about that shit." Law braced himself and stood. "I already decided I'm gonna take it. Whatever it is. Cuz it's him."

A huge smile took over Penguin's face. "You're gonna make me choke up, dude. Okay c'mon. Get Shachi on the phone, and drive us over to Robin's bookshop. You're gonna owe me SO much overtime when this is done…"

* * *

Shachi met them in front of Robin's shop. He and Penguin took off in Killer's car, promising to take care of the mundane part and leaving Law to beg another favor from Robin.

The shop looked dark inside, and when he tried the door it was locked.

The streetlight over him flickered and went out. Without the light, the door seemed less real—just a dark mirage of a door. He walked through it and into the cavernous shadows within. 

Robin was seated at the table inside, where they'd had the knitting circle. She seemed absurdly tall, even bigger than Doffy had appeared, when seen from within the shadows. But she didn't look monstrous like him. She put down her mug when she saw him, and gave him a concerned look.

"You drank too much death," she scolded, putting the back of her hand to his forehead. "And your hat is almost used up. You got into trouble?"

"Doffy wasn't my soulmate. He was some predator, or parasite, he wanted to pull out my soul and make me stay with him. But there was nothing tying me to him in the first place," Law explained in a desperate rush, feeling like the biggest fuckup in the history of soulmates. "I could've just left… I was just being fucking weak."

"No," she shook her head. "Wanting to stay isn't weakness. But it does make us vulnerable."

"Fuck…" Law covered his face with his hands. "I made my real soulmate go through so much shit because of it."

Robin leaned in. "So what is it you need now?"

"Uh. I. Killed him. Doffy."

"Good."

"Yeah, but, about the body. It's full of death too, I had us both drink it. And the wine that's there. Penguin and Shachi need to know what to do with it."

"Ah, just a little consultation fee then. I'll advise them…" She wrote something on a pad of paper, and the words faded. "Now since you're here, let's have the knife and the rest of the tincture. So nothing further goes amiss."

"Yeah…" Law held out the hand with the string tied around it, and she pulled it off him, and placed the knife to the side.

"And the bottle of death, please, whatever's left."

Law reached into his pocket for the bottle, but… "It's gone??" He patted himself down. "Someone took it! Someone—"

The shadows around him abruptly deepened, sending him reeling. His soul tether pulled taut and brought him to his knees. It was burning like a sustained bolt of lightning…

The pain passed, but the vision didn't. Law looked around, enveloped in complete darkness. The bookstore was gone from sight.

"Law!!"

"What happened??" Law got to his feet.

"You've fallen deeper into the shadows! I can't reach you, you're too far!"

"He took it!" Law screamed up at her. "Kidd drank the bottle of death!"

"Law, he has no protection! You have to go. Run!"

The gold rope stretching out in front of him was tugging urgently. Far, far ahead, a pinprick of light showed the way to the door. Law started running.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is Nina Simone - Blackbird.   
> [Playlist here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmL7yJhDzUYhi381HnW--4-zmyZxNG5DJ)

It took Kidd an hour to get up the nerve to even look at the little bottle. He put it in front of him on the floor and stared at it.

Housemates passed by his bedroom door as he sat against it, rough-edged voices whispering back and forth, shoving and laughing. He could imagine their easy intimacy, hands falling together now and then, and that being enough for them. All these abandoned fuckups, washed up together in this house with their little dreams. Wrecks on their own, they always managed to hold each other up somehow. Probably by the same weird magic that kept the rickety house from collapsing in under all those extensions and quick fixes. 

Kidd sat against the door and felt himself on the outside of it all, more than ever.

"Can't have Bonney just covering it forever," he heard Nami complain.

"Honey, we're all trying to help," Sanji replied, before they passed out of Kidd's hearing.

Another pair of footsteps.

"I told him that I'd be his soulmate too if he didn't want his bad one, and I think that made him feel better," Luffy told Zoro as they laced up their boots to go out.

"You can't just change soulmates," Zoro tried explaining.

"No, but you can add them, right? They're like friends."

"...yeah, absolutely, Lu," Zoro gave in with a chuckle.

Kidd waited until they were gone, then glanced around his room. This fucking hole, of all places, was not where he wanted to do this. He was surprised by a knock at the door.

"Kidd?" Killer rattled the doorknob but Kidd was blocking the door. "Kidd. Listen, I know you're in there."

"Not feeling like going out right now, dude," Kidd called back.

"I wanna talk."

"Everyone wants to fucking talk…"

"It's how you help each other sometimes. Open the door, man." Killer tried shoving it open again.

"Go away."

"You gonna make me do this through the damn door?"

Kidd stubbornly refused to reply.

There was a sigh, then a thud as Killer sat down on the other side of the door. "Kidd… you know, I used to think you and I were soulmates."

Kidd blinked, surprised. "Shit, dude."

"I know we're not, now, obviously. I kinda figured it out after I watched that beam fall on you. I was bracing for it when it fell, I thought you were gonna die, and I was gonna die right after. But I didn't even feel anything."

_ Good that you didn't have to, _ Kidd thought, but he didn't say this. "You woulda made a good soulmate," he said instead.

"Fuckin right. And so would you."

"Hah." Kidd scoffed harshly.

Killer heard it, of course. "I don't get why you don't wanna believe that."

"I think it's pretty fucking obvious. What am I gonna do, hold their hand? Say, sorry about the years of pain and extra work ahead of you? Here's a ring, I'm gonna go be useless?"

"You're not just a set of hands, asshole."

"Not anymore I'm not," Kidd threw back.

"Shut up. Listen. I had my soulmate connection not long after your accident. And… I fucked it up. I pushed him away."

"You fucking what? And you didn't tell me??" Kidd demanded. 

"You were half dead and full of drugs in a hospital bed! There was other shit going on!" Killer defended himself. "And then even after that, you were… you weren't yourself. You haven't been yourself."

"Fuck…" Kidd massaged the crooked bridge of his nose.  _ "Fuck, _ Kill, I'm sorry."

"No, listen. I didn't even try to talk to you. And it was stupid not to. You see what I'm saying?"

Kidd swallowed down another wave of tightness from his throat, so it wouldn't show in his voice. "Kill, there's something I'm dealing with right now. But tomorrow, I wanna come and talk to you properly, okay? I promise I'm gonna start taking better care of people. Starting now."

Outside the door, Killer hesitated. "Something you need help with?"

"No, just… something that's got my mind occupied. But after it's done I'll be more useful. To everyone. So just gimme a day?"

"And we'll talk tomorrow," Killer pressed.

"Yeah. Promise."

Killer sighed. "Okay, well…"

"Go give your fuckin soulmate a call!" Kidd admonished his friend. 

"Hah. Yeah, gonna do that now. It's just… I spent so long wishing it was you. So this is me, letting it go."

Kidd couldn't even answer that. Killer left, retreating back to his own dark hideaway, in the converted garage at the back of the house.

Kidd stood, bottle of death in his pocket. He did a lap of the room, kicking over piles and pulling things from their hiding places. He found one of Law's gold earrings lost in the bedsheets and felt a stab of loss so stark it almost stopped him. Almost. He put it in his pocket and left the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

The bathroom made sense for some reason. He locked himself in and sat on the floor. He drained the last of the liquor, and unscrewed the glass bottle of death. Barely a shot's worth... It went down like acid in one swallow and he retched.

The world lurched and went absolutely black. Kidd felt himself plummeting. He'd had those pre-sleep dreams before, where you feel yourself suddenly lifting up and falling at the same time before jerking awake and seeing that you're still lying down. That's what this was, but with all the force of the entire world falling away too. He grabbed for something and was suddenly still again, sitting as he had been, heart beating in his throat. It was utterly dark and utterly cold. His breath fogged the air in front of him.

"Hello??" He tried calling into the emptiness.

Not even echoes replied. He was completely alone. There was a light, though, coming from himself—his soul. It was glowing a color like sunlight through closed fingers, brighter than he'd thought it'd be. The tether shone too, leading far away into the dark. He traced along its darkly golden length, and found it satin smooth.

It was so perfect he was almost surprised when he looked to his side and saw that his arm was still missing; his body still fucked up beyond repair. Fuck… and it still  _ hurt. _

He was shivering now, and his fingers were getting stiff with the cold. He grabbed the tether, steeled himself, and tried to yank it out like he was pulling off a bandaid. It didn't work, and it fucking hurt so much he had to scream and hold himself until the pain passed. He tried again but he knew the pain was coming this time and couldn't make himself pull as hard as he needed to.

"Fuck!  _ Fuck… _ come on. Just do it, cmon," he ordered himself. He pulled, gritting his teeth and screaming into the void.

"FUUCK! AAAGHH!"

Didn't work.

He was getting colder and more desperate. Law was probably on his way back already, and this needed to be done before he came home and found out what a massive fucking iron ball was at the other end of his chain. Just the thought of Law looking down his soul tether and seeing  _ him… _ Kidd couldn't fucking take that. He'd die first.

Kidd dug in his pockets. Out fell scissors, paring knife, and switchblade. His body heat was clouding out of him with every panicked breath, but he wrapped his frozen fingers around the switchblade and went to work.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is [A Perfect Circle - Passive](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmL7yJhDzUYhi381HnW--4-zmyZxNG5DJ)

Reality eased dimly back into view as Law made it to the street outside of Robin's shop. The sky was still solid black, though, and no illumination came from any of the streetlights, the moon or the windows of the greyed-out houses. All usual light sources were dead and still. Behind him, the shop was just a black hole. He caught his breath for a moment before running with everything he had toward home.

Time moved strangely this deep in the shadows. It felt like he was running in slow motion. The people were as grey as the rest of the world, but he could see their souls glowing through their chests, as though the streetlights were inside them. From a distance they looked like flitting fireflies. The little lights were even visible through the walls of the houses he passed, if he turned to look, tracing here and there as the people inside went about their lives. He could see their soul tethers stretching out before them, but also a fainter thread that trailed behind them and faded gradually into darkness. 

Law's own soul tether ran on ahead of him, and he followed doggedly. 

As he ran, he became aware of other presences too—things that moved without any guiding lights in them at all. They were like patches of total blackness, sometimes humanoid and sometimes wolflike, bending and skewing other's trails of light where they passed too close. Law gave them as wide a berth as he could. They mostly ignored him, intent on their own prey.

Law was surprised by one passing right by him on the sidewalk. It looked almost human, but larger, with no light in its chest but the end of a soul tether in its wide mouth. It was intent on following the tether, but its head turned as Law neared it. 

Law kept his own eyes firmly averted, and slowed to a determined walk, not running. He passed it by but could sense it pause behind him. And then turn to follow him.

The hair on the back of his neck stood up. He swallowed and kept up his brisk strides.

"Cut it," it suggested from behind Law. 

Law walked a little faster.

"Cut it," it tried in a woman's voice instead. "Cut. Feed."

Law ignored it but couldn't help speeding up. It followed, muttering dire suggestions and offers. After several harrowing blocks the chatter faded. Law strained to hear if footsteps were still following him, but wasn't sure. His heart was hammering so loud.

He chanced a look over his shoulder… gone. It was gone. He started running again, renewed panic driving him the rest of the way home.

The pain coming through Law's soul tether was throbbing deeper and more regular now, flaring in his chest unbearably and making his own soul light seem to flicker. Just as he reached the house it brought him to his knees—a flash of agony like he was being crushed from the inside.

And then nothing.

Law stood up, shaking. The pain was completely gone, and he was standing in front of the house. It loomed before him like a mountain, all black but full of glowing patterns. Two souls pacing around from the basement to the main level, leaving frenetic trails of light—Nami and Sanji. More souls in the upper levels, trailing here and there in regular cycles—all the rest of their little family. The soul trails were thousands of revolutions deep, all of them circling each other and intertwining until they filled the house with a warm glow. 

Law followed his soul tether as it led onward, up the front steps and through the door. He paused just inside the front entrance. On his left was the main room, crisscrossed with a dense nest of overlapping soul-trails, etched into the shadow realm like afterimages on the back of closed eyelids. All bright and full of life.

On his right was Kidd's room. Standing in the open door, Law could see the faint soul-trails burned into the space. Some wandering around the room but most concentrated in a cold pit on the bed.

No Kidd.

It was dead silent in the shadows, Law's own halting steps ringing loud in his ears, so he startled when there was a creak from upstairs. Something moving. Law's soul tether trailed away up the stairs and then disappeared around the corner, where a faint glow was emanating. He followed. It led through the bathroom door and he pushed it open. 

He felt his breath stop.

"Law… I think I fucked up," Kidd regretted weakly. 

He was lying against the bathroom wall, the bottle of death empty next to him and the scissors, a kitchen knife and a switch blade on his other side. It looked like he'd tried and failed to cut the cord. He _had_ severed the connection, though. The tether in Law's chest reached across the room toward Kidd, but it ended just before it got to him—at the glowing soul in his lap. There was a gaping black space in his chest.

"Oh _jesus,_ Kidd." Law knelt by him. "Oh god…"

"I thought I could just cut it off."

"It's okay."

"I kept trying and trying, and then I pulled and it all—"

"It's okay. We'll fix it. We'll put it back, and then we'll be connected, okay? I know what I'm doing, it'll be fine. It'll be fine..." Law picked it up so, so gingerly. It was beating like a gasping fish.

_"Wait,"_ Kidd grabbed his wrist. "Don't."

"Why not??" Law held it in his hands.

Kidd's voice cracked. "Because I don't wanna be there when you start hating me."

"I'm not going to hate you! Never."

The one-armed man just held Law's wrist and shook his head. "You're gonna be in pain, all the time. _All the time._ Everything bad you feel in your tether, it'll be so much fucking worse. And you'll _know_ it's because of me."

Law sat there with a beating heart in his hands and tried not to lose what was left of his goddamn sanity. "I'll take it. Please let me do this."

"Why?"

"Because I need what you give me."

"That's not true…"

"Yes it is! Kidd, if you don't know how much I need you, you're a fucking idiot." Law didn't know how else to beg.

Kidd gave up. He laughed grimly. "We're probably not gonna make it out of this anyway."

"Yeah, probably not."

Law kissed him, just in case. Kidd's icy fingers brushed his face.

Then Law carefully fit the injured soul back into the wide open mouth of the wound. It looked bad at first. The flesh inside Kidd's body was cold against Law's hands, like something from the locker at the morgue. When the warm heart made contact with it, it shuddered. It almost seemed that Kidd would reject it—he was gritting his teeth and gasping at each small movement. Law placed it inside him as gently as he could, and then pressed his hands overtop, willing it to heal.

"Kidd, cmon, _please."_

"F-fuck…"

The soul finally settled into place with a sigh. Kidd's body knit itself around the missing piece, and was infused with its halogen glow. Their tether curled bright between them as the connection was made. It didn't feel like some bolt of lightning or great revelation, like Law had expected. It just felt right.

Law's right arm started tingling, then burning, worse and worse.

Kidd must have seen the pain in Law's face because he shook his head and folded over in a mournful heap on the other's lap. "Fuck. Law…"

"Kidd, feel my chest."

"What?"

"Here." Law took his hand and held it to him.

"Warm," Kidd commented, surprised.

"Yeah. Because of you."

"Huh, mine is too…" he murmured. "Rest of me is cold still, though? It's fucking cold in this… shadow whatever place."

"Yeah." 

The cold was starting to get to Law too. He felt for the white hat on his head but it was gone. Just a stray piece of yarn left in his hair. They were unprotected.

He sat back against the bathroom wall, Kidd motionless in his lap, and felt the cold start to creep into his extremities. Who knew how long it would take for such a dosage of death to run its course? And by then maybe they'd both be frozen to the core, stranded in this limbo until their lights went out. Law let out a deep sigh. His breath wasn't clouding much anymore. He closed his eyes.

"Kidd, I love you, okay?"

"You… too…"

* * *

[ ](https://chokefriends.tumblr.com/post/644826785287143424/sketch-by-sorellaerba-for-the-upcoming-chapter-of)

Art by [@sorellaerba](http://sorellaerba.tumblr.com) on tumblr ♡


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